Tyler and I were making dinner tonight and we had a very real deep honest conversation and it was hard. All I wanted to do was cry, but it helped me to realize that I was picking up parts of myself that I let go of. So tonite I felt moved to go down to Immateria and let go of them once and for all. I wrote two pieces and I walked down to Immateria in the rain because it’s raining here and I said goodbye. I went to the Grandmother tree and received positive energy and goodness from her. I talked with Immateria and then I left. I feel that Immateria is a special place. I feel that Immateria is a person. I hold a very and I mean a very special place in my heart for Immateria. I have let a lot of shit go in Immateria. I love it there. I’ll get a picture and show it to you guys sometime. It’s beautiful place. So I am going to share these pieces with you. I know that I can because I love you. I really do.
Here are the pieces:
“No More” Part 1
Dedicated to myself. Kathleen Ann Wyatt
No more. I will accept that I will never be my old self again.
I will not go back there.
I will accept that I am who I am.
I will accept that my life isn’t what I want it to be right now, but I am where I am loved and cared for.
I have found a family.
I have a home.
I am not living in a house, but a home.
I am saying goodbye to my old life.
I am saying goodbye to my old self.
I am saying I am walking forward with my future being bright and with my head held fucking high.
I deserve to be happy.
I deserve a lot.
I deserve to be fair to myself and be the best person I can be.
I am the only one that make me happy.
I am happy.
I will be happy.
I will have my bad and ugly days, but I will be happy.
I will strive to find happiness and peace and contentment in the simple things.
I am done with these lies I have been fed by society.
I am done being what everyone else wants me to be.
I am a powerful person.
I am powerful.
I am light.
I am in position to help others even though I am working through my own shit.
I will work through it.
I will be best person I can be.
I will be the best me I possibly can.
Goodbye. Goodbye old life and the old me. Goodbye.
You served your purpose.
You are done.
I am finished with you.
I am fucking finished with you.
“No More” Part 2
Dedicated to myself. Kathleen Ann Wyatt This piece is a sequel to No More Part 1. It is the final piece.
Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye to me feeling bad about everything.
Goodbye to me feeling bad and feeling guilty.
I am done with you both.
I have picked you both back for some reason, but no more. I will will be stronger and I will be powerful.
I will let you go for the last time.
I will no longer feel bad.
I will strive to think before I speak.
I will strive to stay out of own head.
I will strive to be the best me possible.
I will strive to not force myself upon others.
I will strive to not be needy.
I will strive to be understood.
I will strive to be more opened minded and not judge myself so harshly.
I will strive to be more of the “real me” than what society says I should be.
I will strive to speak more openly about things and not hold things in.
I will strive to be happy and have a happy life.
I will strive to be myself.
I will strive to do so much.
I will strive to accomplish what I want to do not what others think I should do.
I will strive to make my words matter and not let them be empty words.
I will strive to do better.
I will strive to be kinder to myself and more calm, content, and peaceful.
I will strive to set goals I can reach, but also challenge myself.
I will strive to not be ashamed of my tears and that I cry a lot.
Crying is a healing thing and it’s good for the soul. Crying is a way of cleansing the soul and I will be cleansed.
You served your purpose.
Love you guys,