My Journey; My Path: The Next Chapter Day 165

Good morning!! I went to bed extremely early. I’m glad. I needed the rest. I open today and I just got up this morning and I prayed. I let God lead me to the Bible verses I needed. I am just going to go in and do my best. I can’t make things happen. I can’t perform miracles, but what I can do is start with me and then the rest will happen on it’s own. God can do anything. I believe that.

I finished my application last night for Bath and Body works. I will do some more tonight. I am planning on going to church in Jamestown where I went with Barry and Brandon. I’m very excited. I’m surprised at myself for making the effort to go, but I am going no matter what and no matter how I feel. I’m going to come home and get a shower and go. I’m going to come home and do some packing and job stuff and then I’m going to go to bed.

Work was rough yesterday. Oh man. I’m glad I prayed before I went in and I prayed when I went on my walk. I needed it. Sara my boss was just so negative and just down about the fact that we couldn’t get any work done. I was upset for a while, but I took the initiative and I went and helped the recycling department yesterday to do shoes so we could have the tables. The guys were very respectful and helpful to me. Most of them don’t know anything about shoes so they didn’t bother me. So when Joseph came in at four he did them and I hope we got rid of them. Barry didn’t come in yesterday so the shoes just sat there. Only certain people do shoes and he’s one of them. I don’t know why he didn’t come in and I don’t care. It’s none of my business, but I was worried. I care about him. I care about him so very deeply. I just pray though. There’s nothing I can do. He’s pushed me away. But God can help him. He’s the only one who can. Actually it’s sad really, but it is what it is. I was mad and angry that Barry didn’t show up for work, but you know what. I think about it and I’m like why? Why am I mad and angry? Is this really going to help me? Is this the way I should treat him? God is not angry or mad at Barry and I will not mad or angry either. One it’s a waste of time and energy and second it’s not going to accomplish anything. It’s really not. It’s that saying What Would Jesus Do? Basically “Christians” say that to ask themselves what would Jesus do in different situations. Well in this instance I’m going to ask and my answer is Jesus would forgive Barry for not being there and understand why he wasn’t there. So I’m going to do the same and be there for him as a friend. I’m going to make sure that he’s alright and not get upset or angry or mad. I’m going to treat him the way that God would. I’m also going to pray for him. I pray God will deal with him. If Barry will get his heart right with God then everything else will fall into place. I know because I am going through the exact same thing. But I can’t force him. I can’t push. I will allow God to do that.

Well that’s all for now. I’ll keep you guys posted. Take care and have a wonderful day. I love you and we’ll talk soon.

Love you guys,

Kathleen

 

“My Walk” Day 13

I went back to my very first day when I went for my walk. Then I felt moved to go to another part of the park so I did. I took pictures. There’s a building on one side of the road and then there is a praying hands statue. I took pictures. I just felt it was so appropriate for what I was feeling today. Today was an awful day, but I managed to keep myself in good spirits. I’m just glad I didn’t have to close today.

Until my next walk,

Kathleen

“My Walk” Day 12

Good morning! Here is my walk from yesterday. I went and sat in the car by the Gazebo again. I was too busy eating that I didn’t pray or anything. I just sat there. A lady came by to pay her respects to another part of the park, but I just sat there and let her have her time. She didn’t say anything to me. I tried to be respectful and not stare at her. She left and I just sat there and enjoyed the quiet and the peace that is there. I love that Gazebo. I remember the prayers I offered up there on that bench I sat on. It was a beautiful day. It really was.

Until my next walk,

Kathleen

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My Journey; My Path: The Next Chapter Day 164

Good morning!! I feel great. I got some sleep. Yay!! Work was rough yesterday. Oh man. Recycling was moving so slow, but we hit goal. Actually we went over. God was so good to us. I just prayed yesterday morning and God took care of us. I knew he would. We also got out on time. Oh man. Yay!! I’m so happy. I would just jump up and down to show you how happy I am.

I work the mid-shift today. Oh thank you Jesus. I’m so happy about that. I get to come home and do some things I need to do. I’m going to finish the application I started yesterday evening. It’s for an Assistant Manager position at Bath and Body Work. Oh man. I can’t tell you how excited I am about this. I’ve also made a list and today I am going to start packing. I’m going to call my landlord today and see if he will let me rent the trailer again. You guys remember the trailer that my mom and I lived in before I moved to Winston?!! I don’t really want to live there, but I’m doing what I think is best for me. My mom can come live there too till she finds a place. His name is Joe and he’s a great landlord. I’m going to see if he will let us rent the trailer again. Mom gave his number to me so I’m going to see what he says. I’m going to call him this evening when I get off. I have a note on my wall to call him. I texted Megan, but I haven’t heard from her to say whether I can stay with her. I may just ask Nicole if I can spend the night. Nicole is a friend I’ve had since elementary school. We’ve known each other for years. I love her. I should text her. I’m also going to go to the store and use my food stamps to get some more food. I’m really excited to have this even if it is sixteen dollars. I’m just excited period to be leaving Winston. I have some friends I want to see before I leave. I’m going to see if I can see them before I leave. I’m also going to ask my classmates if any of them will come up and help me move. I’ll make sure to pay them gas money for coming up to get me. We’ll see. I’m also going to have other options in mind just in case.

Well that’s all for now. I’ll keep you posted. I love you guys and have a great day. We’ll talk soon.

Love you guys,

Kathleen

My Journey; My Path: The Next Chapter Day 163

Good morning!! I’m feeling much better today. I went to bed early last night and I feel great. I’m going to make a better effort to get to bed earlier. It will help me out in the long run. I’ve talked with my mom about the move and we are going to check in and see how things are going. I’m going to call her once a week. I’ve made plans to go to Asheboro on Friday and stay the night and leave sometime Saturday. I’m going to apply for jobs. I filled out a paper application and turn that in on Friday. I’m so excited. In the meantime I’m going to apply for some more jobs from here. I’m also going to text my sisters to see if one of them will let me stay with them for the night. I’m also going to call Joe this week and talk with him about renting the trailer again. We’ll see. I had such a great time with my mom yesterday. We went and did my laundry, returned my free movie rental from Saturday night, went to the store, and came out and sorted through some stuff Tyler’s dad gave me. I know what I am going to keep. I’m also going to start packing my boxes and start organizing things. I’m thinking that if my mom and I wanted to rent the trailer together her and I could both go in halfway and pay half the deposit. The rent is $350 so half would be 175 dollars a piece. If we halved the deposit and both paid for it then we could both move in sooner. We’ll see. I did some budgeting yesterday and my expenses have grown and with what I make at Goodwill I can’t afford to stay in Winston. Everything’s going to work out. I’m just going to plan and do my best and then I’m going to pray and not worry about everything. I did apply for the job at Booksamillion. This one is a Cafe Lead and it’s the perfect job for me. I’m going to call them on Tuesday about the application I did. I can’t wait. Oh man it would be awesome. I also updated my loan payment list and I know where I am at. I’m very excited about this. The sooner this loan payment is paid off the more money I will have for other things. Yay!!

I close tonight. After tonight I’m doing a mid-shift for two days and I open one day. I’m so glad. I can’t wait to be off Friday and Saturday. Oh yay!!

Well that’s all for now. I’ll keep you posted. Wish me luck. I’m ready to move. I’m ready to get out of here and go back home. Have a great day. We’ll talk soon. I love ya’ll!!

Love you guys,

Kathleen

“My Walk” Day 11

Good evening. I can’t believe I forgot to post my walk from yesterday ¬†which is Saturday August 19th. I went back to the cross and sat in my car. It was too hot to go and sit so I stayed in the car. There was also a funeral service when I was there so I went there to the cross so I wouldn’t disturb anyone. I prayed for Barry and our relationship once again and then I left. I felt so alive there. I’ll never forget that day I first went there. It was amazing time.

I’m going to miss these times when I leave Winston. They have been some of the most peaceful times in my life. This park will always be a special part of my life. I will continue to enjoy these moments for as long as I can.

Until my next walk,

Kathleen

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My Journey; My Path: The Next Chapter Day 162

Good morning. Feeling a little overwhelmed. Actually I’m a little sad. I really wanted to go to church this morning, but I have a meeting at work and then I thought about how uncomfortable Barry might be if I was there. But in the end a cried a little and I prayed about it and read some in my Bible and it made me feel better.

I’m off today and I have a meeting at work. My mom is coming for a visit and I’m going to talk with her about moving back to Asheboro. I thought it through and I decided to move back home. I can still attend church in Jamestown and I’m happy about moving back home. There are so many advantages of moving back home. One I will be closer to my family. Second if anything happens to my car again I will have my family to help me. Third I want to rebuild my relationship with my mom and my sister Megan. I want to be around to help Megan if she needs it. Fourth I have lots of options as far as apartments and jobs. I just need to find something to help me get there. So the plan is to stay here and find a job. I’m going to plan to move as soon as I find one and I’m going to save some money to figure out how to get my stuff to Asheboro. I’ve already researched apartments. I’m off next weekend so I’m going to go down to Asheboro and spend time applying for jobs as well. I may stay at Chris’ or Megan’s. I haven’t decided. I believe this is the right decision. I am going to pray and ask God to help me. I am going to be more decisive in my decisions instead of being so wishy washy. Thanks Whitney for that by the way. Your article really helped me to come to this decision. I appreciate you and your friendship. You are so awesome in my book.

So I’m just chilling till I have to leave. I’m also going to go and do some things while my mom is here since I need another person to help me. I’m going to go to the store and I’m going to go and do my laundry as well. It’s great to have her in my life. She always helps me to get my head on straight. I can’t wait till I can live closer to her.

Well that’s all for now. I’ll keep you guys posted. I love you and have a wonderful day.

I love you guys,

Kathleen

P.S. I posted pictures of my me with my two sisters at my graduation from Massage School and at the bottom is a recent picture of me and my mom. Isn’t she beautiful?!