4 year Anniversary with WordPress

I was getting on WordPress today and I looked at my notifications and I saw that I have been on WordPress for 4 years. I can’t believe it’s been that long. I’ll never forget the day Tyler Sparks introduced me to this world. I wanted a place where I could be understood and write about things I wanted to write about. Not only did I find a place where I could be understood and write about things I wanted to write about, but I also found a family that I wouldn’t trade for anything in the world. I have a family that loves me and accepts me for who I am. I can share my innermost darkest secrets and no one judges me for it and I can be a blessing to people. I can receive advice from you guys about anything.  I don’t have to worry about other people’s opinions. I can be myself and that’s the most important thing to me. I can share my dreams with you. I can’t share my dreams with my biological family. My family doesn’t understand me or my dreams and neither do they care, BUT you guys do.  Every time I need you guys you are always there for me. Thank you for being here for me and thank you for helping me to have the best 4 years of my life!!

Happy Anniversary to us!!

Always in Love,

Kathleen

 

New day, new start, new life, and a new determination to fight for my happiness…

Today is a new day and I’m starting a new life and I have a new determination to fight for my happiness. After what happened last night I’m feeling different. I don’t feel the shift like I did before, but I feel different. I’m so excited and I’m more on fire than normal. I had two jobs to fall through, but I have another one that came through and I am going to take it. I’ve also made another important decision. I will be moving out. I can’t live with my mom anymore. I’m tired of her not caring about me. I think for the sake of our relationship we need to separate. She can go and live with my sister and her husband. I’ve already looked at apartments near where I might be working. I’m going to budget my money and then I’ll be able to decide how much I can afford to pay in rent and my other bills. I’ve emailed my principal and let her know that I’m leaving. My last day is the Wednesday, August 26th. I can’t wait to get started. Yay!! I’ll keep you posted on what happens next. Thanks for your love, support, prayers, and encouragement.

Always in Love,

Kathleen

 

Lonely

I know right? It’s a weird title. It’s very confusing I’m sure. Why are you posting about loneliness? I’m posting about it because here is my safe place where I can talk about it. Because this is the place where I am truly loved and accepted by others, who believe me when I speak and love me no matter what. Because this is the place where I feel I can truly be myself and be understood by others around me. I was listening to a sermon by Pastor Furtick. If you have Facebook please check out his page. He’s a wonderful pastor and a lot of his sermons have been speaking to me today. I think God is speaking to me. I was listening to one this evening about being lonely. For many years I have felt alone. I felt like I was all alone. Even with other people around, I felt alone. Sometimes it would just creep up on me and I didn’t even know when it was coming. I didn’t understand it. Why do I feel this way I would say to myself. I’m loved. I have family and friends that love me, but now I know why I am alone. I am alone because I don’t go along with the mainstream and think that what people do is okay. I don’t like people who bully others. I don’t like people who call other people out because they are gay. I don’t like it when people beat each other, rape each other, hurt children, and so much more. I don’t like the jokes that people say that I don’t get. I don’t like it when I’m not included in the conversation, but then they want to talk over me or everyone but me, but I’m not included in the conversation. I’m tired of being called ugly, unwanted, unloved, fat, that I’m not good enough. I’m tired of being a leader, but I am being forced to be a follower of something I don’t believe in. My shame is keeping me, prisoner. It truly is and every time I try to break free I am forced back into my cell and not allowed out. I feel like the Apostle Paul in the Bible. Many times he was put in jail for sharing Christ’s message. I feel like him I’m just not free like he is. I felt this feeling tonight. I couldn’t shake it. I shared with my mother that I was taking another job, but my mother was not happy for me. She didn’t say to me, “Oh Kate I’m so proud of you. That’s great.” She didn’t say any of that. She didn’t even hug me. I knew she wasn’t going to like it, but damn. Can’t you just be happy for your daughter? I know she’s my mom and she wants what’s best for me. But these are the moments when I really want and need her to be on my side and she ain’t. These are the times when I need to stay at a friend’s house for a few days, but I can’t. These are the times when I want to move out and get a place of my own. These are the times I want to throw up my hands in the air and say, “I’m done.” I wanted to be angry, mad, and I wanted to yell at her, but I didn’t. I defended myself the best I could, but she didn’t care. She didn’t see it. She didn’t see what she said hurt me because I didn’t show it. I feel like I’m nothing, but a disappointment to her. I feel like I did when my dad said to me that he was going to put me on a diet when I went to Florida in 2018. She doesn’t see all the growth I have experienced or what has happened to me. I don’t want to feel this way. I hate it. I felt like dog poop. I feel like I don’t have a voice. I don’t know what to do. I really don’t.

As I was listening to the message I started to cry. I actually went back and listened to the beginning again because I was hoping I wouldn’t cry again, but I also wanted to listen to what Pastor Furtick said. I cried and I cried so hard my lip was quivering. I realized that I don’t have to be ashamed anymore. Maybe, just maybe God is preparing me to be a leader and he’s preparing me for what I am about to do I just don’t know what that is yet. Maybe, just maybe God has told me what he wants me to do, I just haven’t got there yet. I have to drop my shame and my feeling of loneliness because I can’t take it with me into what He wants me to do next. Now here comes the part where my “religious friends” would say, “No that’s not right. You didn’t hear from God. He doesn’t speak that way. You need to just pray and stay in the mess you’re in and everything will work out.” They supposedly say that because they care. Well, I’m here to tell you. No, they don’t care because they are the friends who left me when I needed them most and have helped me to stay a prisoner to my shame and my loneliness. I won’t listen to them anymore. God speaks to people in different ways. He speaks to them in different ways to get the message across for one, but secondly, He speaks to people differently because everybody’s relationship with God is different. My relationship with God is different than yours. We don’t always have the same things happen to us. God is doing something different with each of us. I truly believe we all have a purpose and not everybody’s purpose is the same. I have finally figured out my purpose and I have finally figured out what I want to do with my life and I want to start doing it. But my shame and loneliness are holding me back. The opinions of others are holding me back and I am in prison. I am a prisoner. I’m not free. I’m screaming to get out. I have realized what is going on and I’m getting out. I’m out of my prison cell and I’m running for dear life. I don’t want to be a prisoner.  I’m going to be okay. God is speaking to me and I know that. Without a shadow of a doubt he is speaking and I’m going to keep listening.

If you are feeling ashamed and lonely just know you are not alone. I’m here. God is here for you. I encourage you to listen to his message on Facebook. It’s very empowering and powerful stuff. Be ready to cry because it’s that powerful. I’m on a journey of healing and you can too.

I have healed so many things lately and this is just another one. I lay down my shame and my loneliness at the foot of the Cross tonight and I leave it there. God take it because you didn’t die for me to feel ashamed of myself or lonely. I leave it and I will walk away.

Always in Love,

Kathleen

 

My first Workout…

Good morning everyone. I had my first workout on my bike last night and I enjoyed. It was so awesome. I biked almost six miles and burned over 200 calories. I’m a little sore this morning, but not too bad. I only worked out for twenty minutes, but I feel terrific. I also have a sliming belt that came with my bike and I love it. It’s so nice to have this option especially when it’s raining and stuff. It’s very quiet so when my mom went to bed I didn’t disturb her.
This has been a dream of mine for sometime and I’m finally glad to share it with u all. It makes me very happy to finally have this bike. I’m in love with it. I’m thrilled to finally be working on the physical part of losing weight. I’ll keep u update on everything. Thank u for your love, support, prayers, and encouragement!!

Always in Love,

Kathleen

My Memoir

Good morning my fellow bloggers. I hope all is well with you. I’ve decided to do something I have never done before. I am going to write a memoir about my life. I posted this on Facebook so I will include it below for you to see.

Facebook post:

is feeling free. After a deep, honest, and “raw” conversation with my sister yesterday I have decided to do something I have never done before. I’ve decided to write a memoir of my life. It will be something hard, healing, adventurous, loving, kind, and caring. It will be filled with people I love and how I see the world. It will include things unpleasant because life isn’t always happy and grand. It’s full of messy things. To my friends and family, if you should read it when I publish it, I hope you find it enjoyable. My family and friends will be in it. I just wanted to give you a heads up about that. This memoir is for me. It’s time for me to tell my story, to tell about my life in my own words. I’m so excited. I can’t wait…

I’ve already started to write it. It came to me last night as I lay in bed and I decided to start writing. I’ve written two pieces already. I’m so excited. I can’t wait. I know it will be an adventure. I’ve written books before, but this will be different. I’ve written books that didn’t turn out well, or I didn’t publish them because I was too scared. I’m not scared anymore. I’m finally going to tell my story about my life in my own words. I’m so glad. I hope that anyone of you ever read it that you will love it and you will find it enjoyable. I will be including my blog family in it. I just wanted you to know that. I can’t wait to tell the world about you. About how much you have helped me, especially in my darkest times. I’m so excited about it. I love you guys and you are awesome. Herewith you guys I can always be my true self. I’ve loved that about my blog and my blog family.

Thank you and I love you. Have a great day.

Always in Love,

Kathleen

My family!! I love them so much!

 

The “Old Kate” verses The “New Kate”

In 2018 my dad made some very nasty and hurtful comments about my weight. So for 2 1/2 years I have been on a journey for my health. For 2 1/2 years I have not spoken to him. I took time out for me and I have learned a lot about myself. I wrote a new piece while writing the letter. I am writing him a letter today. Here is the new piece. Let me know what you think.

The “Old Kate” verses The “New Kate”

By: Kathleen Wyatt

The “Old Kate” is someone who lets others bully her, manipulate her, and treat her like shit. She let others walk all over her. She put everyone’s needs first and thought that was love. She truly believed she was loved by others. But the harsh reality was she wasn’t loved by them at all. She was used and when others used her for their own purposes they left her and didn’t contact her unless they wanted something. 

 

NOW the “New Kate” is here. The “New Kate” isn’t going to put up with others bullying her, using her, and not loving her. She’s not going to let someone manipulate her anymore. She’s not letting others bully her and she’s not letting others treat her like shit. The “New Kate” has made some awesome friends and they love her for who she is. She has lost weight. She has truly felt loved. She has met some nice and kind people who know how to treat her. She doesn’t have to worry about being bullied, manipulated, and used. She doesn’t have to be someone’s doormat or anchor. She can think about herself and take care of herself. She can be there for others because she knows how she wants to be treated and act accordingly. 

Always in Love,

Kathleen

 

What’s happening in July?

Hi! For July I am going to work on losing more weight. The more weight I lose better feel. It’s been amazing. I’m also working on my exercise routine. I’m going to buy an exercise bike. I found a few I like. I just need to purchase one. I’m going to do a combo of walking and the exercise bike. I also like that I have the bike as an option for when it rains. I’m getting something simple. I have to be able to set it up myself and I don’t want anything to complex. I’ve bought myself two blenders and some variety of five smoothie packs. I really like the smoothies I had during my Shakedown smoothie diet so I am going to continue to have them in my diet. They kept me regular and they tasted Delicious. The blenders are from Blendjet. It’s a small blender, but it’s very easy to clean and I can re charge with my phone charger. It’s awesome. I can take it to work with me as well. I can basically take it anywhere with me. Please google it and see what you think. I know some of you expressed to me that you wanted to lose weight as well. I think this would really help you. You can choose from a variety of colors and it even crushes ice. I found an ad for it on Facebook. I think it’s totally worth the money I spent. I’m so excited. Also you get two day free shipping. I’m so excited!!

Always in Love,

Kathleen

Weight Loss Journey so far…

Good morning everyone. I promised an update on my weight loss journey and here it is. I made a post about it on Facebook and I’m going to share that with you.

Facebook post:

Hello everyone!! I just wanted to give everyone and update on my journey.
In August 2018: I weighed 241.
In June 2020: I currently weigh 224.
I want to thank everyone for your love, support, encouragement, and prayers!!

I’m so excited about my progress and I am so proud of myself. It’s hard to believe that in almost two years I have lost that much weight. I’ve worked hard and I will not give up. For my birthday this year I treated myself to new clothes and I decided to put my health first. I finally went to see the doctor and I go back on July 13th for the results. I know God is working and he will do amazing things.
I want to thank God, my family, my friends, and all of you guys for hanging in there with me, loving me, supporting me, encouraging me, praying for me, and just being there. It means so much to me. I’m thrilled you guys are along for the ride.
Have a great day and we’ll talk again soon.
Always in Love,
Kathleen

Hello July. I’m back!!!

Hi everyone! I’m back. How are you guys?! I’ve missed ya’ll so much. June was a busy month for me. I completed my job at the school system and now I am out for the summer, I finally found a summer job and I’ll start next week, my birthday, and June was pride month for all my family and friends who are in the LGBTQ community. I also finished my two weeks Shakedown smoothie diet yesterday. I gained two pounds, but it’s okay. It couldn’t have been worse. I could have gained 10. I’m glad I didn’t. My clothes fit better, and my I’ve lost some inches in my waist line so I am on my way to reaching my goal. I’m so excited. I am truly blessed.

My sister Megan also started a new treatment routine for Lyme Disease. It’s going as one might expect. I think she is getting better and is healing. Others would say different, but I don’t care about them or their opinion and if they say something about it I will speak out. I’m tired of keeping silent.

My oldest sister Chris and her husband are busy with the farm and they are enjoying it. They are both doing very well. I’m so proud of them. They are really making a go of it. I’m so excited for them.

My mom and I are doing well. Mom is getting ready to finish her last day. She will be off this weekend for the 4th of July. I’m so excited for her. She’s been working hard and she’s tired. She deserves a break. Mom and I have plans to go and see my sister Megan while she’s off.

I’ve finally cleaned my bathroom yesterday and I did a little bit this morning. I put my bathroom back together and it smells clean. I’m so happy. I love a clean bathroom. My room will be next, but I’ll save that for another day. I got all my bills paid for this month and part of July. My first car payment came out yesterday. I got a new car. My other car was totaled. I don’t like my new car, but it has taught me an important lesson about Pride which is the word I chose for this year. I’m realizing more and more that I need to let go of my Pride. It’s not easy, but I’m getting there. The pandemic has me scared for myself and my family. I’m very anxious about my job, but I am praying and thinking of what to do next so I don’t do something I’ll regret later. I’ll update you guys on my weight loss so far in another post.

Thanks for dropping by and seeing me. I love you guys and take care.

Always in Love,

Kathleen

Hello everyone!!

Hello everyone. Sorry I’ve been away again. I’ve had some things in my life that I had to take care of, but I will be back shortly. Keep watch I’ll be posting some things soon. My love to you all.

Until we meet again I love you and in my heart and minds you are always,

Kathleen This is me