Snow, Snow, Snow, and more Snow….

Hey everybody. We are snowed in. It’s awful. Mom and I tried to get our cars out and they are stuck. Mom’s car is stuck pretty bad. Mine I was able to get it unstuck and pulled it back under the cover. It was so bad last night that my sister Megan had to come and get us. We are staying at her place. We got more snow this morning. We were supposed to get 8-12 inches of snow. It’s awful. I just want to go home and go back to work. But I can’t and it’s driving me nuts. I’m sitting here writing and mom is doing stuff in the kitchen. Megan is taking a bath. It’s nice and quiet and I love it. The cats are doing their thing and it’s nice to be warm. Mom and I looked up apartments today and we are going to bite the bullet and move. I’m going to start saving and putting money away. I’m also going to apply for another job. I’ve decided that I need a steady job where there is work all the time and I can be home at reasonable hour. I’m unhappy and miserable. I don’t like that. Wish me luck on all the things I want to do.

Always in Love,

Kathleen

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The Anger Phase

I’m currently experiencing phases when it comes to my feelings for my father at the present. So here are my thoughts.

As I sit here and I think about everything. I look and I see the snow on the ground. I’m angry, but not at the snow. I’m angry at my father.  I just finished going through the angry phase. I did a lot of crying and hating, and so much more. I wish I didn’t have to be angry with him. He makes me so mad. I shouldn’t feel guilty about not seeing my father or talking to him. I want to be happy. I want to move forward with my life. I wish that he wasn’t my father. I would give anything to have a different father. I really would. I know that sounds terrible. Normally I would agree with you that he isn’t a terrible father, but today I can’t agree with you. After going through the angry phase I’m not sure what to do. I’m not sure what phase I’m in now. I was fine until I learned he was coming up for a visit. He is coming up sometime this month to visit. I’ve decided that I’m not going to see him. I debated as I was tossing and turning all night as to whether I am going to text him or not and tell him I need some space. I have a lot going on in my life at the present and I can’t deal with him and his stuff right now. I can’t deal with his fucking drama. He’s such a “drama queen” if you’ll pardon the expression. I want to be over this so I can move on with my life. I’m finding it hard to forgive him. I’m trying. I’m really trying. It’s not easy to forgive and it’s never easy to forget. I wish I could say it was. I’m… I’m still angry, but it’s not like it was. It’s different. I’m still angry at him, but not as much. I think I’m more angry at myself. I act a certain way and have to be a certain way around other people because everyone expects me to be that way. BUT I need to just be myself. I’m learning that lesson once more. It’s been nice to be here with my sister. Spending time with her as made me realize that my life isn’t so bad. My life could be a lot worse. I just wish I could resolve this “stuff” with my dad. I don’t see how, but I know I will. I’ve decided to go and get counseling. I have to wait until the first of year because my insurance won’t kick in until then. So as I go through each phase I will share it with you. I would love to hear if you have experienced something like this or if you have ever had an experience where someone keeps betraying you over and over again, or if someone keeps making unhealthy choices that affect both of you, but the other person doesn’t realize it. If you have I am so sorry. I have nothing, but empathy because I understand how you feel. Please share your stories with me. I would love to hear them.

Always in Love,

Kathleen

Giving Thanks!

My Blog Changes Officially Begin…

My blog has been officially changed over to My Journey; My Path My Journey to Weight Loss. What do you think? I love it. I’m so excited. I’m heading back to work today after being off. I don’t really want to go, but I will. I’ll be back again soon to post. I love you guys and have a great day!

Always in Love,

Kathleen

 

The Wyatt Girls Society and more…

Hey everyone. Here is my update on my books so far.

As you know I was writing a book called I Love Her and it was about my relationship with my sister Megan. Well I’ve decided to abandon the project and give it a different title and I’m having a great success with it. The new project is called The Wyatt Girls Society. It’s about me and my sisters, and my mom. The characters are based on us, but the story is fictional. I decided to write about four women who get together once a month for a book club. I’ve begun the first chapter and I’m going to give the chapter names as well. I’m really excited about this. It’s going to nice to write a story about my family. I love my mom and sisters so much.

I’m also still writing on my novel The Church. I’m on Chapter 4 and it’s going strong. I’ve decided to stop this project for now because I want to focus on the Wyatt Girls Society. I’m also deciding on changing some things in the story because I want to write about my struggle with being gay. I want the world to know and hear it from me. I want people who read it to understand it’s okay to struggle with these feelings and they are not alone in their struggle.

I’m not writing anything else right except these two. I really love these books and where they are going. I’ll post more in January for these. I’m also going to start a club on Facebook and tell my family and friends on their about my books so when I publish them that they will have a chance to buy them. I post on here when they are going to be published. I’m really excited about these projects. I can’t wait to see where they go. Come along on the ride and enjoy!

Always in Love,

Kathleen

 

December’s Monthly Goal

December is a busy month for me, but I still wanted to have a goal. November’s goal and December’s are the same. My goal is to: Eat Healthier. I’ve already started with this goal. I am trying a high protein low carb diet. I’m also giving up cheese and gluten. So far I’m doing okay. I have had some days where I’ve made the right decisions, but I’m doing a good job of not beating myself up. I just try again the next day. I’m doing protein bars and I’m trying to eat more meat. I’m also cutting out bread and other stuff that is carbs like pasta, potatoes, and so on. I’m truly excited about this. I decided to start this in November and continue through next year because I am serious about this. I didn’t tell you guys this, but I’ve had dizzy spells. I’ve had two major one and it was not good. I had one sometime back and then I had one recently at work before we went on vacation for Thanksgiving. It was not fun. I’ve also been waking up feeling dizzy too. I think a lot of that is the weather, but I also believe it is what I am eating. I’m truly excited. I’m excited that you guys are coming along with me during this journey. Yay!! So my goals for this month are to choose healthier food and cook at home more instead of going out to eat. I can’t wait to see the results.

Have a great day and I love you! Thanks for everything.

Always in Love,

Kathleen

 

My Journey; My Path: The Next Adventure Day 83

Good afternoon everyone! I hope this post finds you well. I updated recently and told you guys that changes are coming to my blog. So I want to start off with that, but I need to address another matter first. I recently blog a post called I am Ashamed. It’s a piece I wrote and asked for feedback. To make a long story short I saw someone posted a comment or two about it and I read them, thought it over and I decided what to do and I have taken action. I’ve decided to delete these comments for the sake of my blog. I want to explain why I deleted them. I want to nip this in the butt right now and then we are going to move on. I decided to delete these comments because I am offended and hurt that these comments were put on here. I understand where these comments were coming from and I understand how this person feels about this, but it’s not right for you to force your opinions on someone else. I love you and I realize you did this out of love, but I don’t think it is right. I am a opened minded person. I accept everyone whether they are gay, straight, white, black, christian, buddha, and the list could go on. I WILL NEVER and I repeat I WILL NEVER force my faith, my opinions, or thoughts onto someone else. This is a place where are all are welcome. So in the interest of wanting to still be friends with this person I will forgive them and move forward. I will also say this. If these comments continue to be posted I will give up my blog and I will not post anymore. I’m not here to argue with anyone or anything like that. I am about love, peace, and understanding. Many of you follow me and you know me. I am always honest with you. So now I forgive you and I move forward.

So now I would like to update you guys on the changes to my blog. December is a very special month for me so I will posting more. My first change to my blog is that I will be doing a fitness journal entry instead of my daily journal entries. I recently posted on facebook that I am on a journey to losing weight. I have struggled with weight loss for years and I am on a journey to figuring out what it is best for me. It recently came to light that my father went behind my back sometime ago and said nasty things to my sister Megan about my weight. It has inspired me to lose weight. I didn’t name him on facebook, but instead of being hurt and offended by him I decided to turn it into a positive thing and do this for myself. I’m in the process of figuring out what I want to do. I’m getting a lot of comments and prayers from my facebook. I have a lot of people to support me and believe in me. That includes you guys too so thank you. I’ll be starting that this month. I know that there are many of you who have expressed to me that you are trying to lose weight as well so you’re welcome to come along with me or anyone else who wants to lose weight. I have goals of what I want to lose and so on. I will go into more detail in my post about my goals and so on. This change of my blog will start this month.

Now I want to tell you why December is an important month for me. As many of you who follow me know, but if there is someone reading this for the first time I will explain myself. I want to say this before I start. I am in no way forcing my faith on you. I am merlying expressing my opinion. I am a Christian or as I like to call myself A Student of His word. Christmas is celebrated by Christians because we believe and I believe that Jesus came to the earth as a baby to later die on the Cross for our sins. Christmas is also a magical time of year. I love to listen to Christmas songs and watch Christmas movies. Christmas is the time of year that magical things happen and I love it. I love to put up lights and I love to just celebrate the birth of Jesus. December is also my sister Megan’s birthday and I love to celebrate her birthday. One because she’s my sister, but second we are celebrating a human life. I am so glad she was born and that she is my sister. She’s a wonderful person and she’s always inspiring me to be a better person everyday. On her birthday I will do a big post about her. For her birthday this year I am giving her the gift of my losing weight. She is always loving, and supportive, of me. I’m so excited to give her this gift.

I will still post once a month on how I’m doing and I will post about books and my monthly goals. I’ll do a seperate post about these. I am so excited about this change on my blog. I can’t wait to get started. I’m going to try and take photos this year and post them so you guys can see me and my family. Lots going on this month so stay tuned in. It’s going to be the best Christmas ever.

Always in love,

Kathleen

Special Update!!!

Good afternoon everyone! I hope you are doing well. I’ve been giving this a lot of thought. I am going to make changes to my blog. I will explain more when I update you in December. A lot has happened and I can’t wait to share it with you. Thank you all for your love and support. See you in December….

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Always in Love,

Kathleen