Good morning my loves, How are you?! I’m tired, but I’m good. I feel the same fire I did yesterday. I don’t feel the anxiousness I did before. I feel different. I feel a weight has been lifted from me. I am loving it. It’s so wonderful. I am working today. I work the mid-shift. I’m just glad I don’t have to close. Not only did we make goal yesterday we went way over and I’m so glad. It will show that I am worth keeping on and maybe they will see that I need a raise. I hope at the end of my 3 months I not only get to keep my job, but I get a raise and it would be great to move up to Assistant Manager, but we’ll see that. You never know. I’m not giving up on that so easily. I’m going to work hard. I found my day yesterday at work not to be so hard. I just decided to be myself. Not everyone has to know everything about me. The customers don’t really care about me and my doubts and who I am. They are just concerned about making sure they get stuff to look through. So I can do my part to do that and do my job to the best of my ability. I go in everyday with that mindset and throw myself into my job and do my best. I can’t do anymore than that. I found that I didn’t have to work so hard to make goal yesterday. It was an awesome feeling. I love it. I made a mistakes last night, but I called and asked for help and yes I didn’t get out on time, but the problem had to be fixed for the next day. That’s a big sign of growth. I would never have done that. I would have, but I think I would have felt bad for asking for help. I don’t like to ask for help, but I have to. I have to know these things in order for me to move up in the company. Sara, Nelva, and Nate want to help me succeed and I will let them because they actually care about me. My other co-workers are awesome too. They are all helpers in my journey; my path and I am loving it. I am excited to rebuild my life once again. I am also happy to be able to inspire others. I doubted for a long time of whether I could or not, but knowing that I have and that I can has helped me so much. It has freed me from a life I was in chains for for 31 years. So thank you for setting me free from that Miss Bethany. You are truly an inspiration to me as well. I’m going to enjoy us rebuilding our lives together. I can’t wait to see what happens on your journey; your path.
I’m getting excited. I’m planning my vacation in August. I am earning some vacation time so I’m going to use it and go see my dad in Florida for his 64th birthday. I’m so excited. I’m also excited because I have an opportunity to earn some extra money. You guys know that I used to clean the bathroom at the farm, but now that’s over so it’s possible that my other friend Adam may want me to clean his bathroom. I’m going to text him about it and see if he’s still interested. I’m thinking if he will let me do that then I could put that money in savings and have money for my trip in August for gas and such or I could use it to pay back Tyler, or whatever. It’s wonderful. I’m very excited about it. I’ll keep you posted. I’m hoping that since I’m asking off for it now that I will get the time off. I really want to go and see my dad. I’m very excited for that. I know 65 is the big milestone and it should be celebrated. I’m not saying it shouldn’t be, but my dad has suffered a lot. He’s sacrificed a lot. He’s my hero, my biggest fan, and my cheerleader. He loves me without limits or conditions. He’s been my biggest supporter and encourager especially with my move to Winston. He asked questions, but he did it from a place of love and respect. I love that. 64 years is something to be celebrated. I love that man. I love him so much. I only wish he knew how much. I could list everything my dad has done and has sacrificed and suffered for me and our family. But I won’t. I will say this. He was always the victim of Verbal abuse and manipulation because of my mother and he’s made something of his life. Now I see where I get it from. I used to hate that we were so much alike, but now I love it because it has helped me to see that I can rebuild my life and make something of myself. That’s why celebrating his 64th birthday is so important to me and it is something that should be celebrated. I would really love to treat him for his birthday, but we’ll see.
Well that’s all for now. I love you guys and we’ll talk soon. Have a great day and kick some fucking awesome ass today. I know I will.
Love you guys,