My Journey; My Path: My New Walk Day 97

Good morning. I’m running on six hours of sleep. I’m okay with it. I know I will get to bed earlier tonight. I had a exciting day yesterday and too much caffeine yesterday to sleep last night.

Yesterday I went to see Megan. Mom stayed home. It was good for me to get out. I had been in the house all day Saturday except for going outside once or twice. Mom was having a rough day on Saturday so I think it was good for her to be on her own yesterday. I had a great visit with Megan. We talked a lot. She vented a little bit. We talked about me and my move to Winston. She felt bad for the things she said. I was able to forgive her. I told her that I had come out and was BI for two months when I lived in Winston until I met Barry. I told her Barry cheated on me and that’s why we broke up. I told her about Tyler and why Michael and I didn’t get along. She was so accepting of me. She told me mom and dad wouldn’t hear about me being BI from her. I appreciated that. I don’t plan on telling them. Not many people know about that. It’s not something I really wanted to tell everyone. I told her that in August that I turned my life back over to God and went back into the closet and that I was okay with being straight. It felt good to tell her. I wasn’t planning on it, but I just felt comfortable enough to tell her. So I did. It was awesome to bond with her. We talked about a lot of stuff. I told her I think it had its purpose for me and why I came out. I told her about some of the kids on bus that are gay and how I was able to help them. So I think coming out helped me to be able to help them. I told her I was just figuring stuff out with my relationship with God and we talked a little bit about church and stuff. I might check out her church that she went to before she got sick. She said I would like it there. So we’ll see. Overall it was a good visit. It has helped us to grow and bond more as sisters. I think everything that I was mad at her for in the past was just stupid stuff. None of it really matters. We are both different people now. We’ve changed. We’ve changed a lot. We truly have. I’m glad we were able to have a talk and that it happened naturally, organically without it feeling like we had to do it. It felt natural and we didn’t feel pressured. I look forward to spending more time with her and getting to know the person she is now. I can’t wait to see the person she will become. She’s a beautiful person and I love her more now than I ever have in my entire life. Overall it was a good day yesterday. I did apply for some jobs for the summer and I did type out my notice so I can give that to Mr. H today. I’m so excited.

Well that’s all for now. I’ve got to go and get ready for work. I love you guys. Thanks for your support. I love you and have a great day!

Always in Love,

Kathleen

Advertisements

My Future: My Plans and My New Adventure

Good morning to you on this beautiful Sunday morning!!! How are you guys? I hope you had a great day yesterday. I also want to give a big shout out to everyone who liked my post from yesterday called Two New Pieces. Thanks for the comments/feedback. That means so much to me. More than I can put into words.

So onto my news. I promised I would share with you guys some news today. So here we go. Let’s dig right in.

Asheboro City Schools called and long story short I am officially leaving Archdale Trinity Middle School to be a sub driver. I plan to give my notice on Monday. I have fill out a resignation form as well. I’m so excited. I’m beyond words how excited I am. I’m ready for this new adventure. I got the news on Friday from Terry Johnson. She wanted to talk to me about a possible start date. I haven’t told my family yet. I’m waiting till I give my notice on Monday. I’m also going to be looking for a part-time job that I can work if I don’t drive everyday. I want to have some money coming in plus I’ll need a job for the summer. I’m truly excited. The plan is to eventually move out on my own. I have an apartment in mind and I plan to start working on getting my massage license so I will have that as part-time income coming in. I’m so excited. Please continue to pray for me. I’m just jumping in with both feet and trusting God for what he will do next.

So since I will be starting a new adventure. I decided to have a name for this part of my blog. I decided to name it: My Journey; My Path: The Next Adventure. I’m so excited. I think it fits. I’m truly excited. I know my mom will be mad, but I trust in God and I know it will all work out.

So when I start my new blog posts I will post seven days a week again. I’ll keep you guys up to speed on everything. My first day at new job will be Monday May 7th. So the new blog schedule will start then. I can’t wait. I’m so excited. God is so good.

Well that’s all for now. I’ll be back next Sunday with more news about my future.

I want to say thank you to everyone for their love, support, encouragement, and prayers. They mean so much to me. More than I can put into words. I’m truly grateful for you guys. You’re awesome. You’re my rock.

Always in Love,

Kathleen

Two New Pieces

Good evening. I hope everyone had a great day. I wanted to share these with you. I wrote these sometime back, but I don’t remember ever sharing them with you. They are about me and my mom. One is about being sick and how she treats me when I’m sick. The other one is about how I wish I felt loved by mother. I know I’m supposed to honor her, but how do you honor someone who doesn’t care about you or love you? If you know the answer please let me know. I’m just going to keep praying.

So here are the pieces.

“Feeling Sick”

Dedicated to feeling sick

I feel terrible. I feel so sick. I feel horrible. I can’t wait to feel better. I feel that this is normal, but it’s not. It’s not normal at all. I don’t why I said it was. It’s not normal at all. It isn’t. I just want to feel good and feel normal and whole again. I hate being sick. I really do. I have things I want to do and see. I have places I want to visit and I can’t do that if I’m sick. I can’t wait to go to the doctor and start to feel better. “Yay” for feeling better.

Always in Love,

Kathleen

“Feeling Loved”

Dedicated to myself, I want to be loved

I wish I felt loved. I wish I felt loved by “her”. I’m sick and she lists off things like what I ate and so on. I just want to leave me alone. I just want her to love me and tell me everything’s ok. She won’t and she never will. Why can’t she be like other mothers? I truly wish she was. I feel more loved by my father, and my sisters and my other family than her. She makes me feel worthless. She makes me feel bad about everything. She makes me feel guilty about everything I do. She likes to rub stuff in my face. She says she’s sorry, but she doesn’t mean it. I wish she did. I used to believe her, but I don’t anymore. Just because I make mistakes doesn’t mean you should treat me like a child. I’m not. Still treat me like an adult, treat me like I’m still your daughter.

Always in Love,

Kathleen

  Feedback is always welcome. Love you guys!! 

Always in Love,

Kathleen

It is...

My Journey; My Path: My New Walk Day 96

Good morning!! What a night. I enjoyed a beautiful night of rest and I’m so grateful. God is so good. How are you? How’s your morning going so far?

I’ve started the morning with watching my favorite show next to Marple called Are You Being Served? It’s a great British Comedy. After that I will put on some music and catch up on some stuff. I have a full schedule today. I’ll post that soon. Let me tell you about yesterday.

Yesterday was a great day. I had a great day. Pam left around ten and I didn’t have to see her either. She didn’t even speak to me. I’m so glad. I received some good news yesterday and I’ll tell you about that tomorrow. Yesterday was a great day and a big step into my new future. I’ll tell you why tomorrow. I can’t’ wait. I know you guys can’t either, but it will be worth the wait I promise. I had a great morning and afternoon route with my kids and my day at the school was good too. Cheryl wasn’t in a good mood and she was very upset. She was livid. She’s had enough of the school and she’s thinking of giving her notice. It was a beautiful day. I took control and I loved it. It was wonderful.

I think that’s the whole problem with me and with all of us. We won’t take control of our lives. We expect everyone else to help us and to do the work for us, but that’s not the case. We have the power to change our lives. We have the choice to take things in a different direction. I’m not saying that others don’t help us and encourage us. What I’m saying is I think I’ve relied others too much to the point that I became a leech and they were trying to get set free of me and I wouldn’t let them and when I felt them reject me because they were trying to let go I was hurt and held a grudge against them. Wow that’s the first I’ve ever admitted that out loud. That’s awesome. I’m so excited. That’s a big step. That’s a big deal. Now I’ve admitted I move forward and I do what I can to change. We all can’t stay the same. We have to move forward and change the things we can change and let the things we can’t change where they are. I will moved forward and I will heal now. I can move forward with my future. Thanks for allowing me to feel like I can share that with you.

So on to today’s agenda:

  1. Write
  2. Write blog
  3. Write in journals
  4. Clean bathroom
  5. Clean living room
  6. Laundry
  7. Plan first two weeks in May
  8. Job applications
  9. Redo dry erase board
  10. Catch up on blogs

What are you doing today? What are your plans? Please share them with me.

I love you and have a great day. I’ll see you tomorrow and remember to Punch Fear In The Face and to chase after your dreams…

Always in Love,

Kathleen

My Journey; My Path: My New Walk Day 95

Good morning!! I got seven hours and I’m so excited. Yay!! Today is Friday thank God!! What are your plans? Please share them with me.

Tonight I’m planning a movie night with my mom. I’m going to cook up the pizzas and we are going to watch Marple. I’m so excited. I’m looking forward to it.

Yesterday was a good day. Pam left at around ten so that made me happy. We talked about the library. I asked her about it and I told her to let me know if needed to be done. Her sister Julie is doing when she can at night. I’m supposed to check it everyday, but there have been times when I can’t get in there and I think it needs to be done at night. Pam was okay with it. I’m surprised. No doubt I’ll get yelled at for it later, but I’m going to remind her that we discussed it and that we agreed she would let me know if Julie didn’t do it so I could. Cheryl was gone yesterday for her appointment. I missed her. I missed having someone to talk to. I texted her, but she was driving so she told me to call her. I talked with her for a second and then that was it. I got to see Cody yesterday. Cody is a bus driver for 202 who I asked out and he said we should go out together, but then we never did go out on a date. Now I know why. I went to his bus yesterday to talk to him and he had tears in his eyes. We talked for a while. His mom is sick and it’s only a matter of time before she passes away. Please keep him and his family in your prayers. I listened to him talk and then I told him why did you tell me? I care about you you know. I said I didn’t know whether he knew that or not, but I did. We talked about the fact that we were such good friends that we didn’t want to ruin that and stuff. It made me feel good. Because I do like him, but I like him as a friend. I told him that I would keep him and his family in my prayers and that if needed anything to let me know. He said he would and then I asked if he wanted a hug. He let me give him a hug. I told him Megan said my hug cured anything. My hugs are a comfort to her and I think it was a comfort to him. We talked a little more and then I went back to Cheryl’s bus for a minute. The afternoon route was good. They were noisey, but the behaved for the most part. It was great. Yay!! I didn’t have one kid to ride so I re routed. I half expected someone to come over the radio and say something to me on the bus, but they didn’t. I don’t call in on the radio for that. I use my own judgement and just re route. The kids are still going to get home so it doesn’t matter and the kids will get home safe. I make sure of that.

Other than that nothing much has been happening. I can’t wait to share with you on Sunday about my future and all that. It’s going to be so exciting. I know you guys will love the news. I also wanted to say I’m sorry I haven’t read anyone’s blogs. I have been so busy with work, trying to find a job, taking care of Megan and my mom I just haven’t had time. I promise I will try and read some of your blogs this weekend while I’m off. I really miss reading your blogs. I’m always lifted up by your encouragement and I enjoy learning new things as well.

I love you and have a great day!! Happy Friday!!

Always in Love,

Kathleen

My Journey; My Path: My New Walk Day 94

Good morning!! I only got six hours, but I had a nap during the day yesterday too so I’m okay with not getting seven hours.

Yesterday was the day from hell, but it wasn’t all bad so that makes me happy. Yesterday morning I got a migraine on the way to work. I’m glad I took some medicine because it helped me migraine not to be so painful. My head was hurting a little. It came on quick and was over quickly. I prayed through it. These migraines I’ve decided to nickname them. They are called PTIM. Praying Thru It Migraines. I told the Lord I said please let it be over quickly. He got me through it. Cheryl was all upset. I think she should just give her notice and quit. She’s not happy. She never is. She’s gone today so I’m kind of glad. She has to go to the doctor so I don’t have to listen to her. I love her, but she can be so annoying sometimes. I think the break from her will do us some good. I’m going to help her this morning with her kids so she can get to her doctor’s appointment on time. I hope she drives this afternoon. So since she’ll be gone when I get off work I’ll go and apply for some jobs at the library. I need to apply for some part-time jobs for the summer. I’m getting excited. I can’t wait to get out of this school and away from Pam. She has been leaving me alone, but for the last two days she has still parked her bus to close to me. I move my bus so I don’t hit hers. Yesterday she parked away from me leaving a big hole. I’m glad. I wish she would do that all the time. I think she needs to get her eyes checked. I don’t think she can see very good anymore, but that’s not up to me. I don’t say anything to her unless I have to. I’ve decided that’s the best way. I hope she leaves today and leaves me by myself. Even when she’s at work I feel like I’m by myself. If I need a break I’ll go hide in a janitor closet somewhere.

Happy Thursday!! Tomorrow is Friday thank God!! I can’t wait. Tomorrow is an exciting day. My kids at my school have their award ceremonies tomorrow and my Braxton kids have a dance from 3-5 so I’m hoping that most of my kids from both groups won’t ride, but we’ll see. I would like to get back on time tomorrow. I like to get home as soon as possible on Friday. Friday I have a movie night planned for myself and my mom. I’m going to watch our favorite tv show movies called Marple. There’s a couple of them that are pretty long and because I don’t get home till after five I don’t get to watch them because I have to get to bed so early to get up so early. I’m excited. My mom bought some little deep dish pizzas so I was thinking we could cook them up and then we could watch Marple. I’m excited. It will give us something to look forward to.

Well that’s all for now. I have more news, but I’ll wait till Sunday to tell you. Believe me it will be worth the wait. Have a great day today and I love you. Be a blessing to someone. I promise it will make a difference.

Always in Love,

Kathleen

 

My Journey; My Path: My New Walk Day 93

Good morning!! I got seven hours again and I’m so excited. I’m so happy. I went to be earlier. I got in bed by seven. I was tired. I was so tired yesterday I literally couldn’t talk. But it’s okay I got my sleep. Even though I have a tiny bit of a headache I feel good. I hope you are doing well this morning. It’s Wednesday. Happy Hump Day!! We have tomorrow and then it’s Friday and I’m so excited.

Yesterday was a good day. Pam has left me alone. She asked me about something, but it was nothing to do with cleaning or anything so it was awesome. I’m ready for her though. I told Cheryl I’m just waiting because I will tell her what I think. I will. I won’t be nasty or hateful like she’s been, but I want to be. If I do tell her in a nasty and hateful way then I’m being just like her and that put me on her level and I won’t do that. I don’t sink down to anyone’s level just to prove a point and neither should you. No one should. It’s not right nor it is fair. You should be able to tell someone something without sinking down to the other person’s level just to prove something. I believe if you continue to treat someone the way you want to be treated eventually you get treated the way you want someone to treat you. Of course there are exceptions to that rule and sometimes it doesn’t work out that way, but I think for the most part it does. People do notice when you are doing the right thing and your trying hard. You may not think they do, but they do. No matter how people treat you always keep your head up and continue to work hard. It is worth it in the end. I wish I could say that everyday would be a good day and that you’ll always think this way, but not so. Yesterday I was just ready to walk out. She doesn’t do anything and it makes me not want to work. I do a little bit everyday and I do everything I can and I don’t do anymore than that because I have nothing else to give.

My kids were a little loud on the afternoon route and one of them decided to hit two of my other students with a bottle, but I took care of that. The kid that hit the other two with the bottle will get in trouble. I’m going to talk to the principal and tell him what happened and I’ll let him handle it from there. That’s his job. What is wrong with kids today? Why do you feel the need to hit someone else with a bottle? It just makes me angry. It’s just stupid. I hate it. I really do. I’m just glad that I got someone else above me to make these decisions and disciplines these children. I couldn’t do it. However in this case I’m happy to know that he will get disciplined.  Mr. Cross is the principal at Braxton Craven and I love him. When I have to write a kid up for their behavior I never have to worry about it because I know he will take care of it. Mr. Cross and Mr. Pugh make a great team. They are just awesome. They have helped me so much and I love them. I truly do. They have made my job so much easier. I think they are my favorite Principal and Assistant Principal to work with next to Mrs. Lindsey. She’s my ultimate favorite Assistant Principal. I truly love her. She’s great. I’ve been trying the stuff she suggested last week and it’s working. The kids don’t like it, but they’ll get over it.

9 days till payday and I’m happy. I don’t know why, but I’m happy. I love to get paid. I hope to have some money left over so I’m not sitting here without money at the end of the month. We’ll see. I want to put some in savings as well. So we’ll see what happens.

Well that’s all the news for now. I have some other news, but I’ll share it on Sunday. It will be worth the wait I promise. I love you guys and have a great day. Thanks for everything. You’re my rock.

Always in Love,

Kathleen