Hey, ya’ll.

Hey everybody. I’m sorry it’s been so long. It’s been six days, but that feels like forever for me. So the third shift is working out so far. I’m taking this one day at a time and figuring it out from there. I’m so happy. I am appreciated and supported. I am valued. My boss Charles tells me every day that I work with him how much I appreciated and that I am a good packer. Do I need to hear that every day? No, but it’s nice to hear it. He’s a good man and it’s nice to have his support. He understands how I feel and what I am going through. He’s truly a gem. He’s truly a diamond in the ruff as they say. My other supervisor is just as awesome. His name is Moses, but I call him Mo. Actually, most people do. I’m not sure why, but they do. He’s very sweet and he’s really cool.

Life couldn’t be better. As I stated I’m taking one day at a time. I’m off tonight and tomorrow. I hope to get some sleep and rest. I have a million things to do today, but I am going to take some time to rest today. I didn’t sleep well last night and it made for a really rough night at work last night. We are still on mandatory 48 hours. It’s been like this for a few weeks now, but it’s starting to get on my nerves. I just want to work my normal hours and go home. But I know eventually everything will go back to normal. I’m truly happy. I’m in a good place. I am not where I want to be, but I am where I am supposed to be. I’m thankful to God that I am not where I used to be. I feel like a new person. I feel different. I haven’t changed much on the outside, but on the inside, I feel so much different. I feel I have changed as a person. I feel like I’m the person I wanted to be when I first started working for Sapona back in 2010 through the temp service before I was hired on. It’s strange to think that, but it’s true.

Today I am going to pay bills and figure out what I want to do for food. Mom went shopping, but I wanted to buy some food too for work. I am getting sick of chicken so I need to find something else to eat. I’ve made a list so we’ll see what happens.

I’ll be posting my goal for this month. I’m really excited about it.

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend of relaxation and peace.

I love you!

Always in Love,

Kathleen

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Oh, Monday, how I love Mondays!!

I normally would hate Mondays, but this Monday is going to be great. I finally have found out when I’m moving to third shift. I called tonight to my old supervisor on 2nd shift and he finally told me an answer. I’m so grateful. I can’t wait to start the third shift on Monday. I’m looking forward to it. I think Mo and Charles are going to be a lot easier to work with and I know I will be appreciated and taken care of. I won’t have any trouble. I don’t know anyone on third and I’m not interested in getting to know anyone. I just want to pack and do my job.

I want to thank everyone who came along on my journey and has been there for me, loved me, supported me, encouraged me, and prayed for me. I truly appreciate you all so much. I’m truly happy. I feel like I am in a good place and I can finally begin to build my dreams. I’m truly excited. Please continued to stay tuned, there will be more to come from me on this journey I call my life.

Always in love,

Kathleen

Exciting News!

Good evening everyone. I have wonderful news for you. It’s very exciting news. I was talking with the third shift supervisor where I work at and I asked him about coming to the third shift. I just wanted to let you know that I have accepted a position on third and I will be moving to the third shift. I will work 11pm-7am every day. I’m so happy. Many things or factors came into my decision to move to another shift. As you are aware in many of my posts I’ve listed how unhappy I have been in my job at Sapona. I had a horrible night where I was told I had to clean the packages because the operator who bumped the packages was going to be gone and he didn’t want the packages sitting there for two days. My boss David Allen stood right there and agreed with him. My boss Ruben said one line to defend me and gave up after the 1st shift supervisor bullied him (in my opinion) by saying that he could clean them himself. I’m like what the fuck? I know it is my job to clean the packages, but when the packages are bumped it takes a long time to clean them. I had 62 packages at the end of the night. I didn’t hit production. I let Martha my lead packer know about what happened. Needless to say I was not a happy camper. That’s the first factor. This is the second reason I decided to move shifts. There is a lot of drama on second especially with the servicemen we have. I’m tired of hearing about it and I don’t want to be involved. The third factor is my supervisors. Neither of them knows how to supervise. I have tried my best to get along with them and do my job. I’m tired of hearing them tell me they don’t know and look at me and I’m just like seriously. You can’t just do your job. Which obviously they can’t. My last factor is the fact that I have been bullied and picked on by six packers. Most of them are 12 HR packers who work 7am-7pm. I’ve had one 12 hour packer from 7pm-7am and a packer I work with on 2nd shift to try and get me into trouble. I finally had to tell Martha about what one of the 12-hour packers did to me and how she messed up my boxes of yarn that I packed. I was not happy. I told her this was the sixth packer to pick on me. She was surprised. I’m not. I’ve always been picked on. BUT I’M NOT going to put up with it anymore. I’m going to stand up for myself. If anyone does something I’m not comfortable with I’m going to let them know that it’s not okay. Because I haven’t stood up for myself as I should I have allowed people to do whatever they want because I haven’t told them it wasn’t okay for them to treat me that way. So no more. I feel so good about the move. I’m truly happy. Charles is my supervisor on third and he is wonderful. He truly appreciates me and lets me know it. He isn’t like a jerk about it. He’s very sweet. He used to be a service guy who worked his way up and he is not a supervisor. So he has an understanding of what we packers go through. He’s a man of action. He takes action. He helps us ladies so much. I went yesterday and worked a 12-hour shift and he was cutting up with us and laughing just to help us get through the night. I had so much fun. I really enjoyed staying over. It was so nice. I like the assistant supervisor too. I’m not crazy about the schedule, but I’ll soon get used to it. I figure this is the best way for me to stay on with the company. I’m so glad for this opportunity. I think this is meant to be. I truly do. Thanks you guys for all your love and support.

Always in Love,

Kathleen

January’s Monthly Goal…

I’m sorry I didn’t post this before the beginning of this month. It truly slipt my mind. I wanted to focus on my physical part as well so my goal for this month is: Sticking to my diet. Well so far it hasn’t been a rip-roaring successful, but I get up each day and I still keep trying. I’m going to fall down and give up. I used to do that, but that got me nowhere so I’ve decided that I have to keep moving forward. I have to keep fighting. If I don’t my father’s voice in my head wins and I feel like a failure. But I am going to look at this differently now. I have to. I have to because if I don’t I’ll never lose weight. It’s all about changing your mindset and so on. That’s the hardest part of sticking to losing weight or a diet. You have to literally change your mindset. You have to find a way to make your mind think different and that’s not always easy. But I am moving one step at a time and figuring it out. I’m not going to sit around and feel sorry for myself and wish things were different. If I continue to do that I will get nowhere. If you are reading this and you’re feeling discouraged right now. Please don’t. Please don’t give up. Just know that you and I are in this together and I’m here for you. We’ll walk this road together and everything will be fine. Just take one day at a time with me and we’ll make it. We just have to keep walking. I love you. Please reach out. Let’s talk. I can’t wait to hear from you.

Always in Love,

Kathleen

Good evening/Falling off the Map

Good evening everyone. I’m sorry it’s been a few days. I’m… I’ve fallen off the map so to speak. I’ve had a lot going on with work since we came back from vacation. We are Mandatory 48 hrs as of Thursday. We’ll probably be back to normal by tomorrow, but who knows. Lots of dramas, lots of problems. I’ve decided to stick it out. I didn’t take the job with the Chicken Plant in Siler City. I have many reasons why I didn’t take the job, but the main one was I didn’t want to start over somewhere new and wait another 90 days to get my benefits. I have some doctor’s appointments I want to make and I want to start my counseling as soon as possible. I’m not looking forward to it, but I am at the same time. I want to heal and move forward. I am going to do my best to take my therapist advice. I’m truly excited. I’ve signed for my benefits on Friday. I will be getting my cards in the mail in the next few weeks. I’m truly excited. I feel things are finally coming together. I’m working on paying off my credit card and my Nelnet which is my student loans so I can make room for some gym time this year. I’m hoping to start it sooner than that, but we’ll have to wait and see. Until I get my tax refund I’ll just have to be careful. In other news, I have my goal for January set up. I’ll post about that in a separate post.

As always I’m honored to have you guys on this journey with me. I’m still concentrating on the physical, but the mental and emotional is where I need the most work. I have to find the will to lose weight and keep it off. I have to get my dad’s voice and judgment on me out of my head and my heart. I’m looking forward to the day when I will no longer hear it.

Always in Love,

Kathleen

Making Changes…

Hello everyone! How are you guys today? I’m not so good. I had pizza and cheesy bread last night. Big mistakes. The worst mistake ever. I feel awful. I honestly thought I was going to throw up. Never again. I always say that, but this time I’m making sure it doesn’t happen again.

I’m doing stuff around the house and then I’m going out. I need to go shopping. I’m trying to make it till next paycheck so I’m trying to make sure I can afford it. I messaged my bank on my online account and got my credit card back. I’m only using it when I need it. I’m going to try and use it for small purchases. But we’ll see. Tomorrow I’m probably going over to Megan’s so I want to get as much done today as possible because I’ll be back to work on Saturday for the next seven days. I’m looking forward to it, but I’m looking forward to the money I will get. It will be so nice. I love the money coming in. I’m truly excited to be back in the swing of things. Last night was the roughest night, but I have two days off to get rested and get back into the swing of things when I go back to work on Saturday.

I hope you guys are doing well in the new year. I’ll see you again soon.

Always in Love,

Kathleen

Happy New Year’s Day!

Happy New Year everyone!! I hope you have a wonderful New Year’s Eve. I would love to hear what your plans were. Please leave a comment below.

Today is a wonderful day. I slept in and did some stuff around the house. I organized my corkboard hanging up in front of my desk. I also took down my December calendar’s and put up March. I put three month’s worth of calendars to plan ahead for my bills. Then I reorganized my dream board and put some pictures. I also rearranged my calendars that I hung on my wall. I haven’t gotten any 2019 calendars yet, but I was fortunate that the calendars I have already have January-April 2019 with another picture on each calendar. I’ll take pictures and post them later for you. I also redid the daily schedule that I use when I’m working. I’m really excited. I plan to clear out my bill papers and receipts from 2018. I already cleared out my goal notebook. I’m truly excited about all that I’ve accomplished already.

I don’t plan to do a whole lot today. Mom came home around 2 or so with all kinds of news. She went to Chris’ for New Year Day breakfast. Then Megan had drama with her cat going into heat and she decided to pee on everything. Poor Megan. So mom went over to help her. She is warming up some food so I’m going to go and eat. I decided to watch Are You Being Served episode called The Think Tank. After that, I’m doing nothing.

Have a wonderful day and I hope this first day of the New Year is going great for you so far…

Always in Love,

Kathleen