March’s Monthly Goal

Hello, everyone. I’m sorry I have been absent. Work is crazy. We are still on mandatory 48 hours a week and I’m about to go crazy. I’m going to lose my mind. But I’m doing what I have to do to keep myself sane. So I can’t believe it’s March and I can’t believe it’s March 9th already. This month is going by fast. It’s so crazy. This month I decided not to do a goal, but then I decided that I needed to do something. So my goal for this month is this: Getting my taxes done. Since my father and I are not on speaking terms Mom and I decided to have Megan do our taxes. Mom’s were simple and she got her return. Mine however well there have been some problems. I won’t go into detail because I will complain and be negative and I don’t want to that. I’m simply letting mom and Megan handle everything and I can focus on other things.

As always I love you and thank you for being on this journey with me. Let’s have fun together.

Always in Love,

Kathleen

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Update

Hello!!! How are you guys? I’m sorry it’s been so long since my last post. Life has taken an unexpected turn for me. I am considering another position at work. My bosses have really been picking on me. They have singled me out and are picking on me to the point that one day I was in tears. I am so unhappy. I considered giving my notice and quitting. Instead, I went and talked with my supervisor and he told me that Bill is going to let me try it out. Mo seems to think I can do it. He knows I work hard. He appreciates what I am doing and so does Charles. I don’t want to leave. I cried out to God and he answered. I am so glad.

It’s tax time and I am getting my taxes done today. I have to pick my mom from work and we are going to get them done. I decided to use the money to get caught up on my bills and I am going to help my sister Megan by buying the supplements that she needs. She has to stop treatment of the Lyme because she has no money for the supplements that she is taking. I am going to talk to her once I get my money back and I am going to buy her what she needs. I’m really sick and tired of Jeff not taking her illness seriously. He’s selfish and a jerk. I am not very happy with him at the moment. I’m trying not to be bitter, but it’s very hard. I just don’t understand. Maybe he’s just not capable of loving her or anyone for that matter.

I’m still not speaking with my father. I continue to pray. I honestly don’t think about him at all. I’m glad we are not speaking. I am still going to counseling, I just need a day off so I can make an appointment and go. I have my therapist picked out and everything. Even though I’m going to the counseling eventually I don’t think I’ll ever speak to him again or have a relationship. Even though I have forgiven him I just can’t let him back into my life. He has broken the trust with me that we built and I am not happy about that. He has burnt too many bridges and once those bridges have been burnt it’s hard to rebuild. You can’t rebuild them. I don’t want to. I’m done. I’m ready to let him go. I will pray for him and wish him well, but I will do no more than that. I care more about him and love him more than anything in the world, but I will not let my heart be broken again. I forgive him for myself and no one else.

On a happy note, things are going well with mom and I. Our relationship is growing stronger. She is super supportive and awesome. When I left her a note about wanting to give my notice. She was really supportive and awesome about it. I was like. What the hell? I couldn’t believe it. Also, I am starting to notice some weight loss like physically I mean. I’m noticing little changes, especially in my clothes. It’s an awesome feeling. I love it. I think the direction I decided to take has made all the differences. I’m still working on the mental and emotional stuff, but I have decided to work on the physical and didn’t know it. I get a lot of exercise at work and with my new job, I will get even more. I’m making better decisions about food too. Everything is going well. I’m finding balance, but that isn’t going to be a quick-fix. I have to get up every day and make these decisions. I can’t make the decision once and expect it to stick. I have to change my mindset. So excited. I’ll be posting a before and after picture of myself soon. Not sure when, but I will post it soon I promise.

Take care my darlings and just know that I love you and I think of you everyday!! See you soon.

Always in Love,

Kathleen

February’s Monthly Goal

Happy February to you all!! I hope February is treating you well so far. I can’t believe it’s the second day of the month already. So I gave some thought to my goal for this month. I couldn’t figure out what I wanted to do this month. So this what I decided on. So I’m really trying to work on exercising more now. So this is my goal: Exercise more, Find a balance between work and exercise routine. So I know you are thinking, wait didn’t you have a goal similar to this. Well, yes and no. At first, I thought I would join a gym again, but since I’ve started to work to third I find I am walking a little. I need to find a balance between work and my exercise. I will be concentrating on getting used to third again. It’s been a while since I’ve worked it so I need some time to get my body used to the schedule. It will take a few weeks for that, but since this is a short month I figured this is a good time to try it. I would like to join a gym at some point, but right now I have some other things that need to take more of a priority in my life right now. I’ve noticed some changes in my body. I think I’m losing weight. It’s not big changes, but it’s the little things that are the most important to me. It’s a success in my book. One thing I’m doing that has helped me a lot is that I’m keeping a food diary. I would highly and I stress the word highly recommend a food diary. I basically write down every day what I’m eating and what time, but also how it affects me immediately and then three hours later how I am feeling from eating this food. It’s helped me to notice that some of the food I am eating causes different effects in my body so I am working on cutting out those foods. I’m also trying each month to cut out something I would normally eat. This has not been a success as of yet, but I am going to continue to try.

If you are interested in doing a food diary I would be happy to help you and show you what I am doing. My sister Megan offered up as a suggestion to me. My mom has been telling me for a while I needed to do one as well. So feel free to comment below if you are interested. Anything I can do to help you and I both to lose weight I’m willing to do it.

Always in Love,

Kathleen

Hey, ya’ll.

Hey everybody. I’m sorry it’s been so long. It’s been six days, but that feels like forever for me. So the third shift is working out so far. I’m taking this one day at a time and figuring it out from there. I’m so happy. I am appreciated and supported. I am valued. My boss Charles tells me every day that I work with him how much I appreciated and that I am a good packer. Do I need to hear that every day? No, but it’s nice to hear it. He’s a good man and it’s nice to have his support. He understands how I feel and what I am going through. He’s truly a gem. He’s truly a diamond in the ruff as they say. My other supervisor is just as awesome. His name is Moses, but I call him Mo. Actually, most people do. I’m not sure why, but they do. He’s very sweet and he’s really cool.

Life couldn’t be better. As I stated I’m taking one day at a time. I’m off tonight and tomorrow. I hope to get some sleep and rest. I have a million things to do today, but I am going to take some time to rest today. I didn’t sleep well last night and it made for a really rough night at work last night. We are still on mandatory 48 hours. It’s been like this for a few weeks now, but it’s starting to get on my nerves. I just want to work my normal hours and go home. But I know eventually everything will go back to normal. I’m truly happy. I’m in a good place. I am not where I want to be, but I am where I am supposed to be. I’m thankful to God that I am not where I used to be. I feel like a new person. I feel different. I haven’t changed much on the outside, but on the inside, I feel so much different. I feel I have changed as a person. I feel like I’m the person I wanted to be when I first started working for Sapona back in 2010 through the temp service before I was hired on. It’s strange to think that, but it’s true.

Today I am going to pay bills and figure out what I want to do for food. Mom went shopping, but I wanted to buy some food too for work. I am getting sick of chicken so I need to find something else to eat. I’ve made a list so we’ll see what happens.

I’ll be posting my goal for this month. I’m really excited about it.

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend of relaxation and peace.

I love you!

Always in Love,

Kathleen

Oh, Monday, how I love Mondays!!

I normally would hate Mondays, but this Monday is going to be great. I finally have found out when I’m moving to third shift. I called tonight to my old supervisor on 2nd shift and he finally told me an answer. I’m so grateful. I can’t wait to start the third shift on Monday. I’m looking forward to it. I think Mo and Charles are going to be a lot easier to work with and I know I will be appreciated and taken care of. I won’t have any trouble. I don’t know anyone on third and I’m not interested in getting to know anyone. I just want to pack and do my job.

I want to thank everyone who came along on my journey and has been there for me, loved me, supported me, encouraged me, and prayed for me. I truly appreciate you all so much. I’m truly happy. I feel like I am in a good place and I can finally begin to build my dreams. I’m truly excited. Please continued to stay tuned, there will be more to come from me on this journey I call my life.

Always in love,

Kathleen

Exciting News!

Good evening everyone. I have wonderful news for you. It’s very exciting news. I was talking with the third shift supervisor where I work at and I asked him about coming to the third shift. I just wanted to let you know that I have accepted a position on third and I will be moving to the third shift. I will work 11pm-7am every day. I’m so happy. Many things or factors came into my decision to move to another shift. As you are aware in many of my posts I’ve listed how unhappy I have been in my job at Sapona. I had a horrible night where I was told I had to clean the packages because the operator who bumped the packages was going to be gone and he didn’t want the packages sitting there for two days. My boss David Allen stood right there and agreed with him. My boss Ruben said one line to defend me and gave up after the 1st shift supervisor bullied him (in my opinion) by saying that he could clean them himself. I’m like what the fuck? I know it is my job to clean the packages, but when the packages are bumped it takes a long time to clean them. I had 62 packages at the end of the night. I didn’t hit production. I let Martha my lead packer know about what happened. Needless to say I was not a happy camper. That’s the first factor. This is the second reason I decided to move shifts. There is a lot of drama on second especially with the servicemen we have. I’m tired of hearing about it and I don’t want to be involved. The third factor is my supervisors. Neither of them knows how to supervise. I have tried my best to get along with them and do my job. I’m tired of hearing them tell me they don’t know and look at me and I’m just like seriously. You can’t just do your job. Which obviously they can’t. My last factor is the fact that I have been bullied and picked on by six packers. Most of them are 12 HR packers who work 7am-7pm. I’ve had one 12 hour packer from 7pm-7am and a packer I work with on 2nd shift to try and get me into trouble. I finally had to tell Martha about what one of the 12-hour packers did to me and how she messed up my boxes of yarn that I packed. I was not happy. I told her this was the sixth packer to pick on me. She was surprised. I’m not. I’ve always been picked on. BUT I’M NOT going to put up with it anymore. I’m going to stand up for myself. If anyone does something I’m not comfortable with I’m going to let them know that it’s not okay. Because I haven’t stood up for myself as I should I have allowed people to do whatever they want because I haven’t told them it wasn’t okay for them to treat me that way. So no more. I feel so good about the move. I’m truly happy. Charles is my supervisor on third and he is wonderful. He truly appreciates me and lets me know it. He isn’t like a jerk about it. He’s very sweet. He used to be a service guy who worked his way up and he is not a supervisor. So he has an understanding of what we packers go through. He’s a man of action. He takes action. He helps us ladies so much. I went yesterday and worked a 12-hour shift and he was cutting up with us and laughing just to help us get through the night. I had so much fun. I really enjoyed staying over. It was so nice. I like the assistant supervisor too. I’m not crazy about the schedule, but I’ll soon get used to it. I figure this is the best way for me to stay on with the company. I’m so glad for this opportunity. I think this is meant to be. I truly do. Thanks you guys for all your love and support.

Always in Love,

Kathleen

January’s Monthly Goal…

I’m sorry I didn’t post this before the beginning of this month. It truly slipt my mind. I wanted to focus on my physical part as well so my goal for this month is: Sticking to my diet. Well so far it hasn’t been a rip-roaring successful, but I get up each day and I still keep trying. I’m going to fall down and give up. I used to do that, but that got me nowhere so I’ve decided that I have to keep moving forward. I have to keep fighting. If I don’t my father’s voice in my head wins and I feel like a failure. But I am going to look at this differently now. I have to. I have to because if I don’t I’ll never lose weight. It’s all about changing your mindset and so on. That’s the hardest part of sticking to losing weight or a diet. You have to literally change your mindset. You have to find a way to make your mind think different and that’s not always easy. But I am moving one step at a time and figuring it out. I’m not going to sit around and feel sorry for myself and wish things were different. If I continue to do that I will get nowhere. If you are reading this and you’re feeling discouraged right now. Please don’t. Please don’t give up. Just know that you and I are in this together and I’m here for you. We’ll walk this road together and everything will be fine. Just take one day at a time with me and we’ll make it. We just have to keep walking. I love you. Please reach out. Let’s talk. I can’t wait to hear from you.

Always in Love,

Kathleen