Hello!!! How are you guys? I’m sorry it’s been so long since my last post. Life has taken an unexpected turn for me. I am considering another position at work. My bosses have really been picking on me. They have singled me out and are picking on me to the point that one day I was in tears. I am so unhappy. I considered giving my notice and quitting. Instead, I went and talked with my supervisor and he told me that Bill is going to let me try it out. Mo seems to think I can do it. He knows I work hard. He appreciates what I am doing and so does Charles. I don’t want to leave. I cried out to God and he answered. I am so glad.
It’s tax time and I am getting my taxes done today. I have to pick my mom from work and we are going to get them done. I decided to use the money to get caught up on my bills and I am going to help my sister Megan by buying the supplements that she needs. She has to stop treatment of the Lyme because she has no money for the supplements that she is taking. I am going to talk to her once I get my money back and I am going to buy her what she needs. I’m really sick and tired of Jeff not taking her illness seriously. He’s selfish and a jerk. I am not very happy with him at the moment. I’m trying not to be bitter, but it’s very hard. I just don’t understand. Maybe he’s just not capable of loving her or anyone for that matter.
I’m still not speaking with my father. I continue to pray. I honestly don’t think about him at all. I’m glad we are not speaking. I am still going to counseling, I just need a day off so I can make an appointment and go. I have my therapist picked out and everything. Even though I’m going to the counseling eventually I don’t think I’ll ever speak to him again or have a relationship. Even though I have forgiven him I just can’t let him back into my life. He has broken the trust with me that we built and I am not happy about that. He has burnt too many bridges and once those bridges have been burnt it’s hard to rebuild. You can’t rebuild them. I don’t want to. I’m done. I’m ready to let him go. I will pray for him and wish him well, but I will do no more than that. I care more about him and love him more than anything in the world, but I will not let my heart be broken again. I forgive him for myself and no one else.
On a happy note, things are going well with mom and I. Our relationship is growing stronger. She is super supportive and awesome. When I left her a note about wanting to give my notice. She was really supportive and awesome about it. I was like. What the hell? I couldn’t believe it. Also, I am starting to notice some weight loss like physically I mean. I’m noticing little changes, especially in my clothes. It’s an awesome feeling. I love it. I think the direction I decided to take has made all the differences. I’m still working on the mental and emotional stuff, but I have decided to work on the physical and didn’t know it. I get a lot of exercise at work and with my new job, I will get even more. I’m making better decisions about food too. Everything is going well. I’m finding balance, but that isn’t going to be a quick-fix. I have to get up every day and make these decisions. I can’t make the decision once and expect it to stick. I have to change my mindset. So excited. I’ll be posting a before and after picture of myself soon. Not sure when, but I will post it soon I promise.
Take care my darlings and just know that I love you and I think of you everyday!! See you soon.
Always in Love,