My Journey; My Path: The Next Chapter Day 144

Good morning my beautiful blog family. I have made a very important decision. I have thought about this all day yesterday and I think it’s a good idea. I’ve decided to move back to Asheboro. I’ve decided to move back home. I have done this for several reasons. Number one and the main reason is my health. Ever since I moved to Winston my health has been effected by everything around me. I have stressed out to the point that I have made myself physically sick and because I can’t afford my apartment and I am not able to afford food I have not been able to eat a “proper” meal. I’m benching on stuff that makes me sick. I’ve realized that this is not healthy.

Number two there has been a lot of family stuff to happen while I was away. I have felt my heart tuck toward going on home since that moment. I know that’s not really a reason for me to leave, but my family is important to me. I love them and despite everything they have been there for me. I want to do my part and be there for them this time. I’ve also made amends with my mom recently and just because I move back doesn’t mean that anything that happened as changed. When I move back my mom and I can continue to build our relationship. I think the distance has done us both some good. At least this way I would have my own place I wouldn’t be around her, but I can still be there for my family.

Number three I think I’ve made the best of a tough situation and I think it’s time to walk away and be better person about it. I’ve learned a lot. I’ve been through hell and back. It’s time to say hey I need to talk care of myself. I need to do what’s best for me. I need to do self-care. If I don’t I can’t be there for those that love me and care about me.

Number 4 I think I expected too much when I first moved here especially from Tyler and I think that is what hurts the most. I think the distance will help our relationship. I’ve learned so much from being here these four months in Winston. I have learned so much that it would take a million blogs to describe everything I’ve learned. I think that for the reasons above and many more I am going to move. I’m off Friday and I’m going to talk with my mom about it. I’m looking into some options and we’ll see what happens. I’ll keep you guys updated. I think the most important thing is that everything lately has felt forced by me and when things are forced they never work out. I understand there is hard work in involved in things, but most things happen on their own in their own time. For example my relationship with Barry. That wasn’t forced. Everything happened on it’s own. I think moving to Asheboro will happen when it’s supposed to. Everything will happen naturally and I’m going to let it happen that way. I’m tired of forcing things. I’m tired of doing things I don’t want to do, and I’m really tired of making the best of a situation and losing myself and my health in the process. I’m tired. I’m done. I’m walking away. I’m going to be the mature person and say okay I’ve done my best. I gave it my all and now I’m walking away with peace in my heart, my health and my self in tact and my head held high.

My rash is much better. I’m thankful for that. Thank God! I can’t wait to get rid of this stuff.

I was able to talk with Sara and she’s going to let me work. I’m off Friday and Sunday. I’m going to talk to Barry about going to church together. I really want to go. I would really like to go with him. We’ll see. We are still talking and everything is wonderful. So far so good.

I’m closing today. I don’t go into till one. I’m glad to be closing with Belen tonight. At least I know we’ll get out on time. I’m so glad. Yay!!

Well that’s all for now. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers or whatever you feel you want to do. I’ll keep you guys updated one everything. I’m going to look into every option. Now that I’ve made my decision it will be much easier to know what to do and of course my options are limitless which I like.

Have a wonderful day. I love you and take care. We’ll talk soon.

Love you guys,

Kathleen

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4 thoughts on “My Journey; My Path: The Next Chapter Day 144

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