Good morning. I’m feeling much better today. Heading to work in a little bit. I’m just glad I don’t have to close. I only have to close one day this week. I’m so happy.
I had a nice day yesterday. I got another chapter done with my book Fear of Abandonment. I also took a look at the rest of the book. I will have to re write some more chapters, but then I can finally put it together. I’m so excited. I ended up getting out of the house yesterday. I got a shower and got dressed in a really pretty dress and high heels and went out to the mall and walked around. I walked with head held high and I walked with confidence which hasn’t happened in a long time. I actually got hit on as well. I felt very uncomfortable after that. Normally I would be flattered, but I think because of my feelings for Barry I felt uncomfortable. I took a selfie of myself. I had a nice time out. It felt good to walk through the mall. I felt directed toward the stores I was meant to go in and it was a wonderful experience. I had a wonderful time.
I’m working the midshift today. I just paid my bills. I called the power company and I will pay my bill on the 28th. I will just have to pay the late fee. I just don’t want them to turn off my power before that. I did call them to let them know so they shouldn’t, but my mind goes there. I just recently updated My Dreams/Bucket list and I have it on my corkboard in front of my computer. I am looking at it and it makes me feel good.
I did look into some food banks yesterday and wrote down some places that are near me to call and ask them about their food pantries. One of them offers clothes as well. I am also going to look into Food stamps as well. I’ve applied for a credit card through my bank. I’m waiting to hear back from them. I’m hoping to hear back from them soon. It would be nice to have it before I go to Florida to see my dad. Tyler got back yesterday so I’m waiting to hear from him. I’ve decided to let him contact me first. I know he will when he’s ready.
I’m a little sad because Barry is off today so I won’t see him. I miss him when he’s not there. He’s a hard worker, but I also miss him because I don’t get to talk to him or see his beautiful smile. His smile always makes me day. He always makes my day period. I’m trying to just get through the day. I’m also glad because Nate’s off today. I won’t have to see him till tomorrow. But overall I’m very happy. I’ll keep Barry in my thoughts and my heart and that way I won’t miss him as much. I can’t wait to find out the name of the church and go to visit. I’m hoping that will happen soon. We’ll see. I’m just going to let it happen the way it’s supposed to and force it. Everything will work out if it’s meant to be. I’ve waited a long time for someone like Barry to come along and I’m not going to fuck things up for myself.
Well that’s all for now. I will keep you guys informed and updated on everything. Take care and have a wonderful day. I love you guys!!
Love you guys,