Good morning. I have a horrible headache, but I’m feeling a little better after I took something. I’m still feeling sick though. I plan to stay close to home today.
I had a great day yesterday. I got another chapter done for my book Fear of Abandonment. I’m going to write some more today. I’m also planning to take a look at the rest of the book to see how much more I need to edit or re write. Once all that’s done and I finish the editing. I’ll start putting my book together. I’m really excited. I’m trying to decide on something to eat. I’ll have rice I know that, but I really want some meat, but we’ll see. I kept thinking about Barry yesterday and I really wanted to see him yesterday. I had to stop myself from going to work yesterday to see him. I couldn’t help, but think of him. He’s just really great. I wouldn’t say I’m in love, but I know that I really like him. I also applied for a part-time job yesterday. I applied for the part-time position through the Winston-Salem Transit Authority. I’m really excited about this one. I’m going to call them in a few days and see if it’s been filled. I’m very excited. There are other part-time jobs that I am interested in applying for so I’ll apply for them as well. I had a wonderful time at the Farmer’s Market. I kept thinking about Barry. I thought about how it would be something for us to do together and I thought about us walking around holding hands. I shouldn’t get my hopes up I know and I know it’s not right to think like that, but I can’t help it. This feels different than any other times I’ve had feelings for someone. I can actually see a future for me with Barry. He’s just everything I want in a man and he’s… Well I’ve been waiting a long time for someone like Barry to come along and just when I had given up he comes along.
So I’m planning on staying home and resting today. I need to clean my bathroom and do some laundry so I’ll do that, but I’m going to do some writing today as well. So I was writing in my gratitude journal and I decided to go back through my posts I have written. I read my very first blog post and I’ve come a long way. I can’t believe August 14 will be a year that I have been blogging. It’s so wonderful. I almost gave it up, but now I look back and I am so glad I didn’t. I am so grateful for how far I’ve come and how much I have grown. I have grown a lot in almost a year that I’ve been blogging. Life has changed so much. My life has changed so much. I’ve also grown a lot in the four months I’ve lived in Winston. I’m so glad that I buried the hatchet with my first ex boyfriend Charles because now I have found someone that I really like and that I could see a future with. I think slowly, but surely everything will work out for me. I could even see Barry and I getting married. I had thoughts of us getting married and living together yesterday as well. I’ve never had these thoughts about anyone. I’ve never had a connection with someone like I do with him and for that person to have that connection back with me. It’s always been one sided. This maybe one-sided too, but it doesn’t. It feels different. I’m going with my gut and my instincts on this and I feel that I am right. I just feel different. I can be myself with Barry. I know that he will accept me and I know that I will accept him. I know he already has. I have already accepted him. It just feel so fucking good. It really does. I’m excited to see where this goes. I truly am.
Well that’s all for now. I’ll keep you updated on everything. I love you and thank you for supporting me, loving me, and encouraging me. Take care and we’ll talk soon. Have a great day! Have a fucking awesome day!
Love you guys,