I learned a valuable lesson today. I was at work. I noticed this customer. I approached him and let him know in a nice way and a professional way that I didn’t appreciate what he was doing and it made me uncomfortable. He got upset and took it personally. He said I was singling him out. I let him know in a nice way and a professional way that I wasn’t singling him out and that I had told other customers as well. To make a long story short we came to a compromise. I apologized and told him I was sorry for making him feel that I was singling him out. I also told him that despite what I had done that I hoped he had a nice day and that I hoped he would come back to see us. I don’t know if he will or not. I don’t know if he’ll complain to someone higher up than me and I’ll get in trouble. I realized something. I did beat myself up for it, but I realized something. There was a lesson in all that. I talk a lot about the abuse I suffered at my mother’s hand, but today I got to see what it felt like to be the abuser. I got to see how it felt to be on the other end. It was enlightening to say the least. It forced me to realize somethings. 1. First I realize how I really don’t think before I speak sometimes. Sometimes I think too much. I have to find the balance between the two. 2. It doesn’t matter what the customer does. I just need to do my job and if they don’t like then that’s not my problem. But I will not approach customers about things they do that makes me uncomfortable anymore. If they are doing something they shouldn’t be I will certainly address it and I will talk with them in a nice and professional manner. I won’t single them out. I won’t embarrass them. 3. I got to see how I treated that customer. I got to see it from his side. I felt like I was my mother and I was abusing someone. It’s weird I know, but I think I single people out because I want to, but I shouldn’t. I don’t want to treat anyone like my mother treated me. No one should have to suffer the kind of abuse that she dealt me and I mean no one. Not only do I hope that he comes back and doesn’t report me, but I am grateful for him. I would love to tell him next time I see how grateful I am for him and what happened today. I would say to him if I see him again: Hey, I just wanted to say thank you. You helped me to realize something about myself and to grow and to change. I want to say how grateful I am for you and for what happened that day and thank you for helping me to become a better person.
Now will I get to do that. I don’t know. I really don’t, but I am going to let God, the universe, or whoever to decide that. It’s funny how one thing that happens can change you. Normally I would have beat up myself all day and I would have worried and worried and worried, and worried some more and got really depressed and worried whether they were talking about me or not, but after the incident with this man happened. I just went on with my job. I talked myself through it. I did beat myself up quite a bit, but it felt different. I was as worried or anxious. I am changing. I am becoming a better person. He won’t care one way or the other, but I do. I care. I care because this has helped me to become a better person. I’ve learned a valuable lesson. I’ve learned several. I’ve learned a lot from this and I will take it and put it into practice and I will become the best me possible. I Am A Heroine for allowing myself to change even when I don’t want to and to work through my shit even when I don’t want to and all I want to do is give up. I am grateful and honored that this man came into my life and that I got to learn these valuable lessons. I really am. I just wanted to share that with you. Not every bad, ugly, shitty situation that happens has to be bad, ugly, and shitty. It can be turned into something beautiful and you can learn something from it. Someone posted on their blog this morning about can you erase your feelings you have for someone else and I said no you can’t. I’ve had people to stab me in the back and betray me in the worse possible way, but I chose to the good side of it and I learned from it and I became a better person. Not always in the moment did I see the good side of things, but after I rebuilt my life again and again did I finally see it and change and finally I healed myself and came back to life so to speak. I won’t erase my feelings for this man and how he made me feel today because it has helped me to become a better person. Let every situation good or bad or shitty or ugly transform you into the best you possible.
Have a good evening everyone and I love you…