Good morning! I woke up feeling amazing. I woke up wanting to leap out of bed. I didn’t, but I wanted to. That’s never happened. Well it has, but it’s very rare. I didn’t wake up feeling the heaviness of of my anxiety and depression. I didn’t wake up wanting to go back to bed. I woke up feeling good. I got a good night’s sleep and I feel great. I didn’t wake up in the middle of the night with a headache or anything. Something has shifted. I feel it. I went to my training yesterday and I was motivated. I was inspired. There’s a lady named Stephanie. She did the training yesterday and she and I really connected. She also like me struggles with anxiety and depression. She does a gratitude journal. I decided that I am going to do one too. It seems to really help her so I’m going to do it. I started this morning doing it. I’m very excited about it. I looked at her and said to myself if she can struggle with this and overcome it each day then I can do it too. Yes I will still have my bad days I’m sure I will, but it gave me a hope I didn’t have before. I mean she’s a trainer for Goodwill. That’s awesome to me. I mean if you looked at her like I did you wouldn’t have thought she struggles with anxiety and depression. You can tell that from the outward appearance. It’s amazing. Oh man. I feel on fire right now. I’m so excited.
I’m not working today. I’m going to the farm to clean and then I’m heading to Siler City to see my dad. He’s staying with my sister Megan instead. It’s a long story, but my sister Chris has bedbugs in her house and she didn’t want my dad to stay there and I don’t blame her. I wouldn’t want someone to stay there either. I feel bad for my sister Chris because she’s already had them once. It’s awful. I wish I was there I could help her. Chris and I are very close. She’s so awesome. She was so supportive and came by to see me when I fractured my foot back in September 2016. She stood by me and gave me encouragement which I truly appreciated. I love her with all my heart. I’m very close to her and her husband. I love my brother-in-law. He’s awesome. I’ve decided not to talk with Megan now. We can set up another time for that. This is time I want to spend with my dad and truly appreciate him. I wrote him a letter and made him a card for Father’s day. I’m going to text him and call him on Father’s day, but since I won’t see him before that I want to give him some gifts today and spend the day with him. It will be nice to see him and hear his voice in person. My father has a very beautiful voice. It’s gotten deeper over the years because he’s much older, but I love it. I always thought he had a beautiful voice. He’s just plain amazing. His love, support, and encouragement for me amazes me and the more I get to know him the more I love him. The more I get to know him. The more I realize how much he and I are really alike and I love it. He’s brave, strong, beautiful, amazing, creative, talented, smart, and wonderful and the list could go on. He’s dealt with a lot of shit and he’s come out being a better person for it. Why would I want to change that? I can’t and I don’t want to because he’s just like me. I think I thought that I could change him or that he should change and that’s why we didn’t’ talk for a long time, but the more I get to know him the more I realize that I can’t change him. I can’t fix him. I don’t want to. I think I was just bitter and couldn’t see his true beauty. He has shown up in a real way for me and has been my biggest supporter of me moving to Winston. I mean it’s unreal to me. Even though I think he’s mad at Tyler he has shown up and supported me in moving to my apartment as well. He won’t say it to my face, but I think he’s mad at Tyler. I can’t say I blame him, but he’s my dad and he’s very protective of me and that’s something that has always given me a lot of comfort even when I was a kid. I didn’t tell Tyler this because it doesn’t really matter. It’s fine. I’m just happy to have my dad in my life and that’s what I want more than anything. He has also shown up and supported my job with Goodwill and I am thankful for that. I’m just thankful to have in my life at this point. Without having my mom he’s the only parents I’ve got. He’s totally been there and shown up in ways I never would have thought. Sounds like me. Sounds like something I would do. I love it. I really do. I’m so glad I get to see him today.
Oh guess what? I told you guys I was thinking of moving to Boone well I think it might happen. How soon I don’t know. I was talking with Stephanie yesterday on the tour of the building when she and I were talking and she mentioned giving me a tour of the building in Asheville and our vice president over our district where I work said there are positions available in Asheville. I might see if I could talk to him and see if there is a lead position available in Asheville. I don’t know how it would work, but I would make it happen. I’m going to look into some things and see what happens. I’ll keep you guys updated.
That’s all for now. I love you guys and take care. Have a great day and we’ll talk soon.
Love you guys,
P.S. The picture at the top is my dad. This is the most recent picture of him, but isn’t he just beautiful?!