Good morning! Despite my best efforts I had a shitty day yesterday. I tried to hard, but I was very tired at the end of the day and when I got home I lost my composure and I cried. I became overwhelmed with tears and memories. I’m just glad I had my family here. We had a fire at immateria last night and I burned my pieces that I wrote about the parts of myself that I let go of it. I wrote another one without writing it down and I burned a blank piece of paper. I said goodbye to my mother. I cried and I let it go. What made me angry yesterday was my dad texted me to say did you text your mother for Mother’s day. I’m like thinking to myself. Are you serious? What am I going to say. Oh hey Happy Mother’s day. Thanks for verbally abusing me, thanks for manipulating me, thanks for making me feel like shit, and for making me feel guilty about stuff all the time. Oh yeah Happy’s Mother’s day. I didn’t say that to him, but I wanted to. I didn’t text her. I haven’t talked to her in two months. I wrote a note a while back and I decided to end all communication with her. I have to do that right now for myself. I am ready to say that I don’t know if I’ll ever talk to her again. Yes I forgave her, but that doesn’t mean that I’m going to let her back into my life.
Today I am working 11-7. I am happy to not have to close. Wednesday is slowly approaching and I’m scared, but I know everything will be fine. But I’m scared. I don’t want to mess something up.
I found out that I have Thursday and Friday off so I’m planning a mini vacation to Boone. I am hoping that I can get to see Hank while I’m there, but we’ll see. I’m going to message him and say hey and that I would like to see him and hang out. We’ll see what happens. I was thinking about him yesterday. I really like him a lot. You guys are the only ones that know and I trust you guys not to say anything.
I have to talk to Sara today about my letter of acceptance. I am hoping to get that soon so I can get my apartment and move out.
Well that’s all for now. I’ll keep you guys updated on everything. I love you and thanks for the continued support.
Love you guys,