My Journey; My Path: The Next Chapter Day 65

Good morning! Despite my best efforts I had a shitty day yesterday. I tried to hard, but I was very tired at the end of the day and when I got home I lost my composure and I cried. I became overwhelmed with tears and memories. I’m just glad I had my family here. We had a fire at immateria last night and I burned my pieces that I wrote about the parts of myself that I let go of it. I wrote another one without writing it down and I burned a blank piece of paper. I said goodbye to my mother. I cried and I let it go. What made me angry yesterday was my dad texted me to say did you text your mother for Mother’s day. I’m like thinking to myself. Are you serious? What am I going to say. Oh hey Happy Mother’s day. Thanks for verbally abusing me, thanks for manipulating me, thanks for making me feel like shit, and for making me feel guilty about stuff all the time. Oh yeah Happy’s Mother’s day. I didn’t say that to him, but I wanted to. I didn’t text her. I haven’t talked to her in two months. I wrote a note a while back and I decided to end all communication with her. I have to do that right now for myself. I am ready to say that I don’t know if I’ll ever talk to her again. Yes I forgave her, but that doesn’t mean that I’m going to let her back into my life.

Today I am working 11-7. I am happy to not have to close. Wednesday is slowly approaching and I’m scared, but I know everything will be fine. But I’m scared. I don’t want to mess something up.

I found out that I have Thursday and Friday off so I’m planning a mini vacation to Boone. I am hoping that I can get to see Hank while I’m there, but we’ll see. I’m going to message him and say hey and that I would like to see him and hang out. We’ll see what happens. I was thinking about him yesterday. I really like him a lot. You guys are the only ones that know and I trust you guys not to say anything.

I have to talk to Sara today about my letter of acceptance. I am hoping to get that soon so I can get my apartment and move out.

Well that’s all for now. I’ll keep you guys updated on everything. I love you and thanks for the continued support.

Love you guys,

Kathleen

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11 thoughts on “My Journey; My Path: The Next Chapter Day 65

  1. Nothing wrong with coming to a bump in the road, I think it’s all about what we do after that shows our growth, the fact that you move pass the negatives and pursue the positives are what count the most, i’m learning from you that it doesn’t have to be as scary as i thought, as long as the outcome​ is a positive one then what should I worry about, love always 🌹

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I just had to let go. I did not call my mother on Mother’s Day and even if I did, she would not have answered the phone. She is the type that wants to use you until you drop dead and if she can’t then you are of no use to her. I had to find this out the hard way. And when I moved out of her reach, and she could no longer work me like a pack mule, she stopped speaking to me. I am glad. I just hope that you don’t beat yourself up over not being able to continue to put up with how someone treats you. I had to deal with those issues for years until I had to just let go of them. I am not the problem. Neither are you.

    Take care of you and though you work hard, try and get some enjoyment out of this life. And I hope you and Hank get to spend some time together. Stay strong!

    Liked by 1 person

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