Good morning my beautiful ones. Oh man I am on fire. I am in fighting mode. I don’t know what’s going on. It’s very unlike me, but it is. I wake sometimes in fighting mode and I don’t know it, but I just keeping fighting, but today I am aware of it. I got up this morning and I feel like I literally sprung out of bed. I didn’t, but I have a pep in my step that I didn’t have before. I think that when I let go that part of myself about feeling guilty about all this shit that I used to feel guilty about I noticed the very next morning that I had a pep in my step. I really jumped out of the bed. Well not literally, but I just felt amazing. I didn’t sleep well that night, but I had energy from somewhere. I just feel so good. I’m officially sick. I’ve been taking medicine since yesterday, but I feel so much better today. It’s all coming out and it will continue to and leave my body. I’m so happy. I’m just taking care of myself and I have to work today. Ugh! But it’s okay. I’m glad to have a job and I am so happy with my life right now.
So I hit a bump in the road with my apartment. Tyler and I wrote a letter explaining why I didn’t have my recent paystubs and to tell a little about myself. Well she wanted the two recent pay stubs from my job. So I have to get what’s called a Letter of Acceptance from Goodwill to explain my date of hire, how much money I will make, and all that. I’m going to talk to Nelva who is the assistant manager or Sara who is the manager of the store to see who I need to talk to. I have everything else so I will get the letter of acceptance and drop everything off this week. I’m so excited. Tyler and I talked a little last night since we aren’t having the budget meeting today. We talked a lot yesterday. I could sense that he was struggling yesterday and even though he wanted to be left alone I reached out to him anyway and helped him work through stuff. He was feeling anxious yesterday. I’ve been through it so I understand exactly how he feels. We had friends over for dinner last night and we all shared what we are thankful for. He shared that moment between us yesterday of how I reached out to him and helped him work through his anxiousness. It was so beautiful. I wasn’t expecting that. I shared with everyone how I struggle with the same stuff and shared a little bit of my story around my depression and stuff and how I have worked through it. It was awesome. I had a lot of fun.
Today I am closing with Nelva. She’s so sweet and helpful. Her english is very broken, but I can still understand her. She’s really great to work with. I’ve learned a lot from her. I’m very excited to work with her tonight. Amy is my other roommate is heading to Charlotte to see family. Her sister is graduating college today so she’s gone today. She’ll be back tomorrow I think. Tyler and Michael are heading out soon to go to Boone. Hank who is a friend of theirs is graduating college today as well. I met Hank one time when he was staying at the farm. He’s very sweet. I’m so proud of him and happy for him that he’s graduating. I got him a graduation gift and I hope he’ll like it. I haven’t told anyone so I’m going to tell you guys. I have a crush on Hank. I’ve liked him for sometime now, but I haven’t said anything to Tyler or Michael or anyone for that matter. I think of him all the time even though I don’t acknowledge that I do. I don’t say if I like someone anymore because then that person finds out and they ignore me. Well I shouldn’t say that. That’s not the way I want to put that. They find out that I like them and they see me differently. I know that I can tell you and that it won’t get back to him. I won’t ever tell him or Michael or Tyler. I couldn’t risk it. I’ve had crushes before so it’s not a big deal, but I really like him. I just keep thinking about how it wouldn’t work. It’s amazing isn’t it. What’s the saying? They say something about when you stop looking that’s when you find him. Well maybe I’ve found him. I don’t know. But anyway I’m so proud of Hank and I wish him well.
Well that’s all for now. I’ll keep you guys updated on everything. Take care now and I’ll talk to you soon.
Remember that you are never alone and that I love you guys very very much. I care for you deeply and I’m always here for you even though I can’t be there with you physically I will be there for you! Loyalty is not a word it’s a lifestyle!!
Have a great day!