My Journey; My Path: The Next Chapter Day 60

Good morning beautiful ones! I hope you are well. How are you?! I’m wonderful. I had a good night’s sleep that I didn’t want to end so I set my alarm and went back to bed, but then I didn’t want to get up, but I did. I’m writing my blog for you guys and I am getting ready to do my journal entry for the day. Oh man yesterday was so much better than my first day. I’m going to just do my best. That’s all I can do. I had beautiful moments at work. I had moments where I was able to stand up for myself when others were coming at me and just telling me what to do. I had to be like wait I’m new I don’t what’s going on. So they would be like okay and then they would explain to me what they wanted me to do. I get to close tonight with Nate. Nate is a very sweet guy. It’s too bad he and I work together and that’s he older than me because I would seriously consider dating him. He’s the first guy in a long time that I felt I had a connection with enough that I would date him, but it’s just not meant to be and that’s okay. We are definitely different, but he’s very sweet and he’s awesome at his job. He’s been there for six months and he’s doing a great job. He’s like me he’s applied for management before and just never got the position. I’m so proud of him. I’m so proud to be working with him.

Yesterday was also when I said goodbye to another part of myself. Tyler and I were talking last night and he was saying how I didn’t need him anymore. Well earlier I felt so distant from the farm, but I am in a way because I’m leaving and getting my own place. I was processing and trying to figure out how I felt about what Tyler said. I was like do I take it heart or not? I finally decided I was tired of living in fear. I wrote a piece called I Believe in Myself and I went down to immateria in the rain and Amy and Tyler were done there and I said goodbye to another part of myself. It was beautiful. They anointed me with oil and Amy and I sang together. We walked up to the house together and Tyler and I sang another song. We sang Over the Rainbow together from The Wizard of OZ. It was beautiful. We meaning Amy, Tyler, and I hung out for a while and then we all went to bed.

Today I am just chilling before I close tonight. I am so excited. I really do love my job. It’s wonderful to have a management position. I love it. Yeah I have my days. I have my days where I want to quit. I will have them. I’ve already had them, but it’s okay. I can handle it. I just have to take one day at time. I just have to remember I am loved, cherished, and treasured. I just have to remember that I have a support system and that people love me for who I am. I just have to remember to not live in fear and live each day to the fullest. I just have to remind myself that when I want to quit to look at where I am from, what I already faced, and how I overcame all my fears, struggles, and doubts before this present moment. I just have to remember that I am not my mother, my father, my sisters, or anyone else. I am just me. I just have to remember I don’t have to live in fear. I wasn’t given a spirit of fear, but of love. If you reach your lowest point and you think giving up is easier well it’s not. Moving forward is easier. Actually it isn’t. It takes more energy to move forward than to give up. You know how they it takes less muscles to frown than to smile. Same idea just a different way to put it. We all must forward with our journeys/paths. We must if we plan to get to where we need to be, to where we are supposed to be. I’m saying to you don’t give up. Keep moving forward even though it’s hard and people will treat you like shit and I promise you they will. Never give up on yourself and never stop believing in yourself. And just think you have one cheerleader already. Me!!! I’ll be your biggest fan and biggest cheerleader because that’s who I am and because I love you and believe in you. I always have ever since we met and I will continue to for the rest of your life and mine.

Well that’s all for now. I’ll keep you posted. Take care and let me know you are doing.

I love you so much and have a great day. Have an awesome day and please do something fun.

Love you,

Kathleen

 

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