Feeling much better this morning. I woke up and I’m happy. I sorted through some shit yesterday and I talked to Tyler. He suggested some counseling. I’ve been thinking about it for some stuff. I need someone I can talk to and someone else who is not involved in the situation to help me sort through this shit. Yesterday was the day from hell. My dad was texting me and told me about my mom and I’m like I didn’t want to hear it, but I didn’t tell him that. But it’s just not good, not healthy. I’m tired of repressing my feelings and just doing what I have to do to survive. I’ve been doing that for thirty years and I’m done. I’m done doing it. I’m taking charge of my life at least in this area. I think the other parts I have already taken charge of. I did go to the gym yesterday even though I was tired and sore and I didn’t want to and I was stuck in traffic because there were two accidents. I still went and I’m glad I did. I felt better. I’m going all this week even though I’m working today and tomorrow. I’m still going. I need to. It will help me not only lose weight, but I will feel better about myself.
Today I have a job interview at 10am. It’s a company called New York and Company. It’s a clothing store in the mall here. I’m going out of curiosity only. I was actually offered another job through a client Tyler works for. I’m interested and I’m going to do it. I just have to talk to Tyler. I’m going to text him after the interview and tell him I’m interested. I’m tired of letting good opportunities slip me by and I look five to ten years down the road and say what if? I hate what ifs. I’ve said what if for thirty years and I’m done saying them. I’m a good person and I have a life to live and it’s a good one.
I just want to say a big shout out to those who reached out to me yesterday on my posts. You guys are fucking awesome in my book. Thank you for reaching out to me in my darkest moment and not judging me. Thank you for just offering your help and encouragement. It means so much to me. It means the world to me. I’m very happy you did.
So I’m still in fighting mode from yesterday. I do feel a little sad, but I’m working through it and I’m going to have a good day today. I feel powerful and strong. It rained last night and it’s nice and wet. I love a good rain, but I love the after the rain because it’s smell so good. It smells fresh and clean. I love it. Rain is a great cleansing for the earth just as tears are a good cleansing for the soul. Tears are always good. It helps you to think clearer and to sort through some shit. I love it.
Well I must go and get ready for the interview. I’ll keep you posted. Have a great day and I love you guys so much,