Hey everyone!! So I just thought I would let you know. I was supposed to have the interview today with Tanglewood for the custodian position, but that fell through yesterday. I can’t do both the Grill and the Custodian position so I decided to stick with the Grill position since I already told them yes. I was beyond crushed. I felt so guilty. I literally said fuck it and just talked myself through it and I started to feel better. Then I had the weird thing to happen yesterday. I saw a coworker I used to work with at the school yesterday. He and I met right before I fractured my foot. He and I walked toward each other and he kissed my cheek and hugged me. He and I took a few minutes to catch up and we hugged and I left to go into clean my section of the school. I started to feel overwhelmed. I have never been kissed on the cheek before. I’ve been kissed on the cheek by male friends and family, but he’s not family. We don’t know each other that well. It felt different. I made myself deal with it. I was able to talk myself through it. It felt so good. He’s just the sweetest man you’ll ever meet. He so kind and open and honest. I am so honored to have met him. I’ll be honest it felt like having an organism. It was so intense and it was so wonderful. It felt so good. It really did.
I have to finish packing for my weekend at the house. My sister texted. She and her husband are going to help me move my furniture when the time comes, but she’s not sure what day. I am so excited. Her and my dad both are worried about me moving. I take that as a good sign. I’m so glad to have them worried. I would rather them be concerned then not at all. I appreciate how they are supporting me even though they are worried. That means a lot to me. Since I fractured my foot my sister and I have gotten so much closer. Her name is Christa and she’s just so beautiful. I’m so proud of her. Her and her husband are just perfect for each other. They face everything together and their love is such an inspiration to me. I love to spend time with them.
I also have to update Tyler on everything. I can’t wait to tell him all the news.
I’m very emotional this morning. I feel free for the first time in my life. I was reading a blog post this morning and it was so powerful. It was just what I needed. I just recently opened up to my boss and to my former co-worker and to this young lady who wrote this post about the abuse I have been receiving. It’s one of the reason I want to move to Winston. I want to get out of the abusive situation and start over. I didn’t realize it was so hard to tell people stuff, but the more I talk about it the better I feel. It felt easier to tell my former co worker and this young lady than it was my boss. I guess because I hadn’t ever told anyone. I just feel free. I think my healing has begun.
That’s all for now. Have a great day everyone!! My advice would be don’t bottle things up. Speak me out loud and find your healing start to begin. I hope you can have a friend like Tyler in your life. He truly gets me and truly understands me. He’s there for me. He supports me and he holds me and makes me feel safe. I can’t wait to see him.
Thank God it’s Friday!!
Sending you guys so much love. I love you so much,